Hi, well I noticed this site a few days ago and didn't really find any interesting forums until I saw this one because, well lets just say I fit right in...

My life up until now has been a freakin whirlpool of disasters, fbi raids, jail time, supidity, and drugs! Although, what's amazing is that I wasn't involved in any of it, I was just forced through it. I'm now 19 and just moved in with my aunt and uncle in California because my dad, whom I was living with got locked up along with his girlfriend. Their kids, which are still in elementary school, still live there but their grandma is taking care of them so they won't have to go in foster care. I've always been a good person, I've never done drugs and never will, i'm right in my faith and I work hard for what I have, I just got a job and am trying to buy a new car, then will work my way through college. Though, I still am not sure where I got my will from, my mom and dad have always been drug abusers since I could remember, eventually they seperated, never got divorced but each found different partners. After a few more years of nonsense, my dad and mom did a little switch with their partners and my moms new boyfriend's ex-wife became my dads new girlfriend. I know this sounds wierd, but I now had two new step siblings and their step-parents were my parents, so basically we share the same step parents and parents.

To add to this insanity called my life, I now had a new step dad but instead of a drug addict like my dad, he was an alcoholic and a drugee. My situation just got worse. All I could do was think about my future, my mom was never really there for me, I could talk to here and emotionally she was there, but as a parent, she was completely absent. She never had a job, so we were always dependant on her alcoholic/drugee boyfriend. Sometimes, we would be on the edge of homless because he'd decide to spend the rent money entierly on drugs, he'd go days on end on highs, my mom would be driving my brother and sister around and we'd see him riding his bike along the street not knowing what's going on. It's so hard to see someone close to you just waste their life away, my dad remained involved in drugs and it really took a toll on my step brothers and sisters. The youngest girl is just 3 years old, she's beginning to realize how things are and I can't help but feel sorry for them.

Sometimes it got so bad living with my mother that she once tried to kill herself in front of me, it's painful to reflect but honestly it's all i've known. Sometimes I'd lose myself and wonder why my life is like this when the neighbors just next door have a perfectly normal life. I'd have to go through my dads horrible rages when we were caught in his room. I grew up knowing all about drugs and am thouroghly disgusted.

I'm sure my story is different than many people's live's but similar to all to many. With all of this nonsense, I am left with nothing, basically a dad who is incarcerated for drugs and an absent mother. I found most of my direction through god and going to church, well all of my direction. I learned how to be right, fair, loving, willing, and I found my place in life.

For anyone who is going through what I've gone through, look to the future, finish school and try as hard as you can to accomplish your dreams no matter how impossible they seem!

-Ty