Leighdu wrote

Fardreamer wrote Leighdu wrote Fardreamer wrote Rocky wrote I dont think the writers strike will have much of an impact. Once they start writing agian, the addicts will go right back to watching the shows. It may give them a break, but if your a TV addict I'm sure you'll watch anything else not just the one show your waiting for. I always set aside my sunday nights at 9 to watch desperate housewives, but when it doesn't come on I still stay watching TV but just watch something else. Maybe it also depends on how deep the TV addiction runs. There is, I think, a real distinction between fans of specific shows that they will miss if they don't air but can literally live without, and addicts that can't function without having the TV on no matter what programs are on, so long as there's something on the television screen. I think that an addict is an addict. Yeah, they won't be able to watch their favorite shows, but most people addicted to televsion will always find something to watch. Most use television as a way to escape reality and lose themselves in another world, so if their favorite shows are not on, I am willing to bet there is much more out there they will watch. You have to remember also that with cable, there is a plethora of things to be found on t.v. Thank goodness, then, that I'm one of those TV watchers that can get by on just watching the news or a couple of shows a day, but not one who would just watch anything for the sake of watching. Of course, I'm disappointed that this season of 24 will not be on, but that's the way the cookie crumbles!

Well that is great that you don't have a television addiction Fardreamer, but there are many out there that do, and that is what this thread is for. Albeit many are in denial but it is definitely not a laughing matter or something for people to take lightly. An aquaintance recently divorced her husband because television was his entire life. He would even miss work just to watch tv. It's a sad addiction really, but then again all of them are.

I've known quite a few people who do, sadly, make TV the focal point of their spare time. Not to the skip work to watch extreme, but still bad enough. One of my closest friends used to cancel out on agreed-upon outings and parties because he needed to watch General Hospital....even though he had a VCR and taped each day's shows.

For instance, one guy installed one of those TVs that can be put in a car right close to his steering wheel...on the driver's side! Very sad...very dangerous, too.

Leighdu wrote

BettyBlue wrote This question is for current or former smokers, and it assumes that we accept that smoking is addictive. This is a bit of a devil-is-in-the-details one.... When you smoke/smoked, are/were you very choosy about the brand? Is/Was there something about it that makes/made it "your" brand?

I started off with Marlboro Lights and just stuck with it. Seemed to be what everyone I knew was smoking and back then we would all share so it was the easiest thing. Then it just got to where none of the other brands tasted even close to as good as M Lights. Of course if I were out of cigs I would not turn down another brand if that was all that was around.

Do you suppose the nicotine levels were what kept you hooked on your brand? Did the "taste" of the M Lights (as it were) help keep you addicted? Or was it a combination of both?

Even though I'm no expert on the subject, the relative the first poster is writing about does, at the very least, have some serious anger-management issues. Both Quenlin and at4101 are dead-on in suggesting that alexdg1's relative should at least seek professional help.

Quenlin wrote
How about some steps for the one who was cheated on? Like, just because someone had sex with your spouse, it does not give you the right to harass, assault, abuse, defame or slander the individual.

And, another bit of advice for the one who was cheated on; How about examining your own behavior before your spouse became unfaithful? Did you change the way you treated your husband/wife romantically/sexually from when you were dating to after you got married? Did you have an affair before your spouse did? Did you close yourself off from your husband/wife emotionally?

Wow. Who would have thought that former First Lady and current Senator Hillary Clinton (D-NY) would be in a neck-to-neck race for delegates against the junior Senator from Illinois, Barack Obama? Sure, she won two big states (Florida and Michigan) whose delegates would have given her a comfortable lead, but the Democratic National Committee, in one of its dumbest moves, stripped Florida and Michigan's delegates away because those two states moved up their primaries in defiance of established rules.

So with a string of victories on his belt, Obama has closed the gap and is apparently on a winning streak. If he can win in Wisconsin, Texas and Ohio, we might see Obama win the Democratic nomination as the first truly viable African American Presidential candidate.

Do you think Obama can keep gaining ground? Or will Hillary prevail in the end?

Unfortunately, marijuana - though perhaps less damaging than most drugs, be they legal or illegal - does affect people negatively.

I'm not just referring to the problems created by it being an illegal drug - people will, unfortunately, become lawbreakers by either consuming or selling it - but also MJ does have physical and psychological effects that aren't very nice.

An acquaintance of mine became so dependent on pot that he simply stopped working for a living because all he could think about was getting "grass" for his stash of home-rolled joints, and although he was always more mellow and pleasant than his alcoholic father, he was always stealing from friends and family to buy pot. This would be true even if the drug were legal.

The worst thing is that the drug companies themselves are becoming, in essence, drug pushers by the somewhat disturbing trend of buying air time on TV and playing commercials for drugs that are NOT sold over the counter.

Sure, there is a disclaimer, often recited in a quieter voice than usual and at a fast pace, telling us what negative side effects a particular Rx drug has, but have you noticed the visuals? Morning in America, happy, sexy people enjoying life at its fullest while the narrator gives you his/her spiel?

And of course, the drug companies give doctors financial incentives to prescribe the drugs, as well.

Aries wrote
http://www.baltimoresun.com/entertainment/news/bal-to.hs.prescription07feb07,0,5243276.story

Shame, I really liked that guy, he was still young as well and a brilliant actor. Sad that he had to die, why is it the good ones die young and the assholes stay standing. Life works in mysterious ways.

Yes, an accident it surely was, but one that could have been avoided if Ledger had told all his doctors - he must have had several - what he was already taking. An oversight caused by stress and overwork? Maybe, but still, a doctor in Australia can't know what another one in the States prescribed unless the patient brings it up.

Whatever the term is that escapes BettyBlue and other folk, I still think her question is valid.

As a guy, I will admit that some of my earliest and most explicit fantasies involved some of my really attractive female teachers, even those with the title Mrs. before their names. If they were pretty and had a certain "look," my libido didn't care if they were single or married. Of course, I never told them about it, although I'm pretty sure that they'd hear it through the grapevine because - like most kids - I'd tell my pals that I liked Mrs. X or Miss Y, and sometimes they'd tease me about it mercilessly.

The point I think Betty was trying to make - based on how American culture and laws work - is that most people look at student-teacher relationships as taboo, partly because here, anyway, there is a widely-accepted feeling that teens' brains are still not formed fully and therefore can't make clear-headed decisions that have great consequences, particularly in the realms of sexual relationships.

Again, I'll use my own memories as a reference. If one of my female teachers had made a sexual advance towards me, would I have been able to handle it like a mature adult? Honestly, probably not. I wouldn't have resisted, I would probably not have been very discreet, and I'd have taken the eventual breakup very badly, especially since I'd have thought I was in love as well as lust.

Obviously, folkways and mores differ from country to country and from culture to culture. In Europe, as Quenlin no doubt knows, attitudes about sex are very different from those in the U.S. Instead of being hidden in the back shelves of convenience stores, Playboy, Penthouse and even more hard-core porn mags and books are sold where kids can see them in kiosks and stores. The age of consent also varies, as Quenlin points out. In the UK, the legal age of consent for sex is 16.

The example cited by Quenlin of dating a teacher when he was 17 is not really applicable to Betty's original point. The "teacher" he dated was in his age group...a peer. And how does a 19-year-old become a teacher in the UK? Was she a tutor but not a professional, university-trained educator?

Here, teachers are - supposedly - authority figures who can act, as the legal term goes, "in loco parentis" or "in place of a parent." Even if the sex is consensual, who can say that the teacher didn't somehow use that authority subliminally in order to get the sex? (Indeed, the most common sex fantasy guys have about their female teachers is being seduced while being kept after school by a hot babe-educator.)

Moreover,

Maybe this is an odd question, but I've heard that some people who start having sex with several partners at once, like in an orgy, sometimes can't get back to being satisfied by one partner alone and can't have sex unless it's with multiple-partners. Is this possible? If so, how does one get over this addiction?

I'm not sure when, exactly, the Federal Communications Commission decided that it was all right for the pharmaceutical industry to shill prescription drugs on TV, but ever since Meridia (a weight control drug, I think?) began being advertised in the late 1990s, a whole plethora of Rx Drugs are being "pushed" on us viewers.

From overactive bladders to erectile dysfunction, from sleep disorders to restless leg syndrome and everything in between, if a condition exists, there's a splashy ad for a new Rx Drug. DetrolLA, Cialis, Ambien, and Viagra...all names that should only be known by doctors....are now household names, and though there is a list of dangerous side effects mentioned and we're always told that "only your doctor can prescribe Drug X...so talk to your doctor if Drug X is right for you," I believe that these commercials merely increase a demand for dangerous drugs that can be addictive. I also believe they should not air.

megan22 said: It has been around for as long as anyone can remember and it doesn't seem to be slowing down. Even responsible drinking doesn't seem to be picking up. Everyday we hear about more and more kids killed or hurt badly in alcohol related accidents. What else can we do to get through to them ?

As I may have said in another thread, teens have a different physiology from either children or adults.  Their brains are more developed than kids, but they won't have full development till after the early 20s, so they aren't physiologically mature, either.  That's why in most cases, teens can't really make sound decisions or listen to reason in most cases.

You can lecture or quote statistics all day to a teenager, and in a few cases, you may get through.  But until they see for themselves that the aura of "it can't happen to me" is simply an illusion, getting through to a teen who likes to party a bit too much is nigh impossible.

Most kids don't have the emotional maturity to look beyond the moment and think about consequences.  Even when I had my crush on my teacher, it never dawned on me that she might be married or that I might get her pregnant.

leighdu said: I think it could be possible. Having multiple partners could be a "high" for some people that they cannot reach with one partner alone. Then it could probably get boring for them to be with only one person, and in order to feel that same high, excitement, euphoria, etc., they would just keep going back to multiple partners. I have personally never heard of this, but I wouldn't doubt it.

As far as how to overcome, my guess would be as good as yours on that one.

I suppose it would not be a big issue, socially speaking, if STDs and psychological/emotional consequences didn't come into play.

I think for single people there would be less dire consequences in this situation, except for the STD issue. 

For married persons, though, this addiction sounds very dire.  Sure, there are couples who are very into open marriages and into swapping partners, but most couples couldn't survive this situation, I think.

forthelove said:

Studies estimate that as many as 17 million Americans, better than one in 20 of us, can't control our urge to shop, even at the expense of our job, our marriage, our family and our finances. I think I tend to spend more than I should, but I don't know if it's an addiction yet. I'm still able to pay my bills and survive so it's not that out of control for me. Does anyone suffer or know someone who suffers from this?

Yes, I know quite a few persons who, unfortunately, have had issues with shopping-related addictions.  My sister is one of them, and my friends David and Richard almost had to declare bankruptcy when they were in their 20s and overused their credit cards in a very dangerous manner.

That's what happened to a friend of mine from college named Andy; he'd go to a party, start drinking, get obnoxious and boorish, then drink so much until he passed out on the couch/bean bags/bed/floor.  The next day, in addition to having a hangover, he'd be surprised at how many people were angry with him for things he genuinely couldn't remember.

I'm not into the whole "biggest and baddest" TV, keeping up with the Joneses lunacy.  Yes, okay, if I had Warren Buffet's billions I'd buy a 42" LCD and a home theater system, but I'm not rich nor do I feel I have to impress anyone with the size of my television set.  All I ask is that it runs well, can be used with a DVD player, and be usable after Feb. 2009.

I rarely drink, but when I do, it's either Scotch whiskey with ice and water or a nice Pina Colada. 

Ice cold beers are nice, provided they are that...ice cold.

megan22 said:

lalajean wrote
There are generally underlying issues going on in peoples lives that cause them to become addicted to the internet. This can be lack of interest in knowing how you are in your house, where your friends online might acknowledge you as soon as you sign in. Or other various reasons.

Seems to me that internet addiction can affect just about anyone at anytime. I would like to know however, what the underlying issues may be that make some people more predisposed to it.

I remember all too well the changes in mood that I experienced when I had dial-up ISPs and had to limit my time online so I wouldn't tie up the phone all day.  I'd be nervous, irritable, and quick to snap or lash out, and I'd also be looking at the clock or waiting for everyone to be asleep so I could log on and chat or read e-mails.

Dear Minnie,

As someone who appreciates the men and women who are in the armed forces and all they do, I sincerely regret the death in combat in Iraq of your ex-boyfriend.  Sadly, I think he was showing a great deal of maturity when he broke up with you, not because he didn't love you but quite the contrary...because he did.

I hope that someday the pain of his passing will ease, and that you never forget that he was a good man, a good American, and a good Marine.

Semper Fidelis.

You're probably referring to the story of Mary Kay Letorneau, a teacher who - even though she was married and had kids - had sex with a very young student....a sixth-grader, I think it was.  The boy fell in love with her, and she with him, and I believe that after she went to prison for having sex with a partner under the legal age for consent and after her husband took the kids and got a divorce, Mary Kay and her younger lover got married.  (I think, also, she had kids with the boy...but I'm not sure about that. If anyone can tell me what facts I'm missing or got wrong, feel free to chime in.)

The point, though, is not whether there are cases where a teacher genuinely falls in love with a student or not.  I'm sure there are, because teachers are not superhuman beings who can avoid human frailties or temptations.  And, of course, there are students out there who actually want to have sex with a teacher.  But there are certain issues involved here that go beyond the "teachers are human, too" argument, such as the whole figure-of-authority concept mentioned in earlier posts.

I don't understand what the problem is, either.  While I respect your reluctance to be more descriptive about what you did with Girl 1 that you consider stupid, surely there are lots of things, sexual or otherwise, that would qualify as stupid.   Again, while I don't want graphic details, surely some clarification on that matter would help others give you advice.

As to the issues with Girl 2, I can only say that it's perfectly normal and healthy for you to be interested in doing "more and more" with her, but if you are worried about getting sexually involved with her, you need to figure out ways to be romantic and affectionate without letting your libido take over too much too fast.

Stormstar878 said:

bettyblue said:

As someone who buys stuff from Amazon on a monthly basis, I know how easy and practical buying from that online store can be.  I certainly like shopping there, especially for DVDs and books.

 

However, I was thinking about the dark side of online shopping and how it can become addictive, and I reached the conclusion that it's the very ease and convenience of the store and its navigation that would make it a Shopaholic's equivalent of crack.

 

Any thoughts on this?

Another thing is that Amazon's prices are low, and then offer the free shipping if you spend over a certain. I could see where people could become addicted to Amazon, but true shopaholics would still buy even without all the special prices and rates.

You're so right about the low prices at Amazon.  They do make even non-addicts tempted to buy things...and especially the over-$25.00 items that qualify for free shipping.  I know this, because sometimes I have to "x out" of the site after making one purchase so I don't feel tempted to buy something I don't really need at that particular instant.

leighdu said: There are many out there that are addicted to the high of finding new romance, and then when that high goes away, they just go on to the next person, and then the next person, etc. Then there are others that stay in abusive relationships or are the abusers in a relationship. Any thoughts?

I've never heard of someone being addicted to finding a new romance; I've heard of people addicted to finding just-for-sex partners or one-night-stands, but full-on new romances? Still, I can see why there would be such an addiction..it's probably the endorphins involved in the "chemistry" part of love and romantic affairs.

This WOULD be a highly interesting category, and I third the motion, after Intrill....

As an American citizen of Colombian descent, I'm always being asked by my relatives who live in Colombia how I can reconcile being against illegal drugs, supporting the war on narcotraffickers and wanting South American countries to be tougher on crime and the cultivation of poppies, marijuana, and coca, while at the same time living in a country where the most drugs are consumed?

Naturally, there is a lot of nationalist pride and defensiveness behind the question, but there is some justification for the deep-rooted anger that percolates beneath that defensiveness. After all, if it weren't for the high demand for cocaine, heroin, and pot in the U.S. and the rest of the West, the "drug producing nations" wouldn't have so many drug lords and their vast resources that, we, the "drug consumers" gladly hand them. 

That's the sad thing about our society, I think. We know more about the personal travals of a self-destructive and possibly mentally ill Britney Spears than we do about the countries that are negatively affected by our drug addiction problem.  No wonder most of Latin America is so attracted to leftist leaders like Hugo Chavez.....