Well, I don't wanna tell my whole life story, I just want some advice...
I'm seventeen and graduating high school in two weeks, yayah! I just signed up for my college classes and so excited for next semester, I have a lot of friends (great friends), I'm pretty smart, and am finally comfortable with the whole 'adult' concept. I'm a very happy person, fun to be around, popular and all that, and so far I haven't managed to screw up too bad my senior year.
The one thing that i have trouble with in my life is my boyfriend. We've been together for a year and eight months, and the first, i wanna say year was great. I'm so picky with guys, i've never truly been happy with one guy, but once I started finding out who i was and making right choices, I met Andy. He's a great guy;, good, strong morals, blue eyes, dark hair, funny, everything i was looking for. After about a year I started finding out he wasn't the most ambitious person, which bothered me a little, since my family is all about hard work and working hard. My brother got third place in the state of California in wrestling and got a full ride scholarship, so i guess you could say i'm more attracted to men who truly like working hard. But since Andy finished high school early and got his GED, it's just been going down hill for him, since then, he hasn't been able to keep a job, he just recently got a DUI, and he'll be turning 19 in January and still has no clue about what he wants to do with his life. He had a really good job in construction, but his boss got arrested and we never heard from him again. Andy really likes construction and remodeling and stuff like that and wants to do soemthing like that but it totally not willing to go to college, he took two classes and dropped out, he refuses. I want him to be a General contractor, which you have to have your masters degree first. I just don't know anymore, he smokes pot everyday now and I can't seem to get him to quit, all of his friends do it and he gets so bored when I'm at school because he's not working or going to school. He gets odd jobs here and there, but doens't truly need any money. His parents are very rich and they absolutely adore me, it's so obvious that we're slowly becoming opposites. I think his parents baby him too much, which turns me off. I find myself growing more and more distant from him and he falls more in love with me everyday. I want to say "I"m giving you till the end of summer to get your act together" or "I'll only marry you if you go to college" but I'm afraid of being let down and i can't just flat out break up with him, I feel like we've been together for so long that it would just be too hard on me but especially on him. He really has done a lot for me, but shouldn't that be part of being a good boyfriend? My parents aren't very fond of him, they don't know about his DUI, and my mom doens't know that he lost his last job. I had a chance to go off to college, fully paid for in Florida, but he said he would break up with me if I ever left him. I really do love him, he's very attractive and he would make a great dad, he understands me so much, but I just can't see past the fact that he's floundering and has been for over a year. Should I wait around for him all summer, or should i just end it now, with prom a week away?

I think you need to just keep talking to him, once he quits wouldn't it be great to know that you were the one who stood by his side? I've always heard that admitting you have a problem is the hardest step, try having other family members talk to him and try convincing him that he'd be so much better off sober and they like him so much better as a person when he's not drinking

Thanks coachluvah for the advice, it's just so hard though sometimes because I'm so busy with my life and sometimes i feel like he's just bringing me down =( I'm trying though, we got in a fight last night and we worked it out today, he's really good about realizing why I was so mad the day after it happend lol.

Many people believe that they're simply too far gone, or they have no reason to change their lives, this is nonsense because everyone has a reason to quit, but sometimes their will just isn't strong enough. I have three addicts in my family and I pray for them all the time, I think they've just let themselves lose control of their lives and are floundering to get it back. Recovering addiction is hard, very hard, but it's a whole lot easier when people have the right tools to overcome it, just like Jen said. God bless everyone dealing with addiction.

Heey my nagging worked haha! He signed up for fall classes next semester at the same college I'm going to! I couldn't be happier :) I hope he can keep motivated, he seemed really excited about it today, what are some ways to keep him motivated? Like you can't miss more than one class a month lol I dunno I don't wan to be a worry wort

Well I really don't need him to spoil me rotten lol he takes care of things, like nails n hair n stuff. Lol In check sounds more lik it

I agree, changing your self means also adjusting the way you live, dealing with friends especially. RedSkinn I think you need to really make sure what you're wanting in life, if you really want to quit drugs, then you need to do it the right way and not make situations harder than they have to be. Having friends that motivate you in the right way and tell you what you're doing is wrong means that they're your true friends. =)

I totally agree a lot of girls at my high school started doing it and it's so disgusting. On of my friends started doing it when here and her boyfriend were having problems and now its like he was never attracted to her. It changes people's personalities so much, I'm thankful for everyone who's made a great decision to stop using!

Lol that's how a lot of girls get when they drink, I can't imagine some girls. Moderation is the key, my parents always told me that it's smart to pace your drinking thorughout the night like blondestblonde said like have a drink then maybe an hour later have another with some water and it sucks to drink on an empty stomach....hangover!

Well, things are getting better and better and the truth is, Duh I am young and experience isn't everything, older adults have many problems and just because they're older doesn't mean they're perfect with relationships. We're still together and love each other more everyday but it's so easy for both of us to get off track. I mean we're teenagers, just becoming adults and are both at crossroads in our lives. I still have so much time to decide who I want to spend my life with but I'm a very caring person and I don't like to see others screw up, especially when it affects me.

Also people that are in recovery need to understand that once they stop doing drugs or whatever they were addicted to, they are ultimately starting a new life. People need to go back and revisualize the what their morals truly are and where they stand with what they're okay with. It's hard for an addict to go back to the same environment and stay sober but making new friends and doing new things should be a goal becuase it will help that person rediscover who they are without drugs

Hhaha wow I want to thank everyone for the helpful advice. The more I learn about life, the more I realize how much knowledge there is to be obtained. If you're wondering, we're still together and truly haven't been better. He stopped smoking weed and all the BS with this stoner friends is over. He's actually taking more classes than I am and we're both doing great in school. I think we were both just living up the last of our time to get away with screwing around, but ultimately I couldn't be happier. We just had our two year anniversary and I know we may not stay together all throughout college and I'd be okay with it either way.

Parents should love their children unconditionally. A friend of mine is in rehab right now and she's been fighting with her parents a lot. Recently her mom, whom is very loving and kind hearted, snapped at her and basically beat her up and called her an addict and that she hated her more than anything. Children should be able to tell their parents anything, but parents need to be able to handle anything, with a kind heart. Always.

I do think it is an addiction, if it's something you can't control and have to do it in secrecy, it's addictive behavior. I think because you know about this guy, maybe you should report it to the police. You're right, he has no sense of self control or decency so he could just as easily go molest a child or rape a woman if he cannot control his impulses.

Yes I argree, and also I think everyone is saying it wrong, it's spelled Kleptomania. I always thought it was a compulsion to steal, but wierd things like you said soap or just random things...

1. Understand the phenomenon. The most extreme compulsive spenders tend to hide or lie about their purchases, max out more than one credit card and obsessively worry about money. It’s not uncommon for compulsive spenders to live in a constant state of crisis over their finances. Between 2 and 8 percent of Americans spend money compulsively, and the average compulsive spender is walking around in $23,000 in debt.
2. Know thyself. If you absolutely love to shop, ask yourself why. If your spending is out of control, it’s important to understand why this is happening.
3. Reflect on how you feel when you shop. Think if certain emotional triggers prompt you to shop. For instance, do you shop when you’re depressed, angry or lonely, with an eye toward cheering you up? With an eye toward understanding the feelings involved, you can focus on different ways to cope with them.
4. Think about the time involved. A wake up call can occur if you sit down and think about all of the time wasted at searching for sales, browsing through catalogues and cruising for deals online. There has to be better things you could be doing or accomplishing.
5. Take control of the situation. If you’re worried that your spending habits are affecting your life and your credit rating, start spending only what you have by paying in cash, checks, and your debit card. Cut up all credit cards with the exception of one for emergencies and leave it at home. Refuse to take on anymore unsecured debt that isn’t tied to a piece of property, such as a house.
6. Start writing things down. This could be a way of tracking everything you purchase daily and associate the itemized list with how it made you feel purchasing it. It’s also important that you write down your financial goals so that you stay focused.
7. Steer clear of any temptations. If you know you have a problem, try to avoid any discount warehouses, shopping malls and districts. If you can’t avoid them entirely, make a list and stick to it. And if you’re having a hard time sticking to your list, bring a friend that knows how bad you’re struggling and let them help you resist your temptations.

If you think of addiction as a disease, then yes you can be recovered from certain stages, but the last stage I guess would be possibly relapsing and that part never goes away. And it does depend on your attitude. If you say, Oh I'm going to quit for the next 25 years, well once you're at 26 years, your whole attitude could change. People beat breast cancer everyday, but there's always a chance you could develop it again. Us addicts don't have any control over our brain chemistry so that's why we get random cravings n such.

There was a recent Oprah show about this and these parents had three sons and they were all obsese. They showed the parents a visual image of how the boys would look as teenagers, then middle adults, and then in their fourties. It was a huge eye opener for the parents to actually see how overweight their kids would be when they got older. So the kids ended up losing a lot of weight after the show, so ya that's a good method to show the parents.

A telltale sign of an eating disorder is when you start thinking about food 24/7. You may drift off into your own thoughts during a conversation with a friend, wondering what you'll have for lunch and dinner. Or, you may be unable to go anywhere, even just down the street to the drycleaners, without worrying that you'll get hungry and need to pack a large snack.

No matter how much you weigh, thinking about food constantly is a sure sign of an eating disorder. Although it is a good idea to plan your meals, if you can't take your mind off eating, then your life could easily spiral out of control. If your mentality is that you live to eat, rather than eat to live, try focusing your head on other fulfilling things. The next time you go to a social event, try to get excited about seeing your friends, instead of wondering about what appetizer the waitress is going to serve.

Yeah, I don't think that's wierd. I'll get hooked on old movies and watch them over and over and still cry at the end and stuff. But I mean, if you start losing your friends and they start hating you for watching so many re-runs then yes, you may be addicted L0l, but as of right now, I think your'e just dandy!

Researchers
from Chili have discovered that blocking regions in the brain called the
insular cortex can effectively stop individuals addicted to amphetamines from
cravings from the drug. This
understanding could lead to new therapies to help treat drug addiction.

The insular cortex is located deep
in the brain and is part of the sensory system that monitors how an individual
perceives their own psychological states and needs. What an individual craves a drug, they can
get irritable and anxious. These types
of psychological states appear to take place in the insular cortex. When researchers injected the drug that
inactivat