I don't mind talking about my addiction, it actually helps a lot to be open about it.  I share it with my girlfriend, who is also in recovery.  But because of that, it's a healthy relationship.  My dad on the other hand will never talk about his addiction to alcohol, hardly ever.  This I don't understand because in his case, it seems like he is totally unwilling to quit because he's not expressing how he feels about it.  And it's really hard on my mom also.

I know quite a few people that are literally addicted to sex.  More than once a day, over a hundred partners, and no regard for protection.  Fortunately, I've never really been that way, I was always true to myself and even though I had a lot of chances to sleep with girls, I never did.  But I found out recently that my brother has an std.  I was so pissed when I found out because we stayed to persistant on waiting for the perfect girl.  But it happend and it was his choice to take the risk with this girl.  But now he's wondering if he should even stay with her.  The one he has is incurable.  Would anyone here be willing to stay with their girlfriend/boyfriend if they gave you an STD?  Is it better to just stay with them?  And think about it, if he breaks up with his girl, then he's going to give this disease to the woman he marries too.. it's killing me to watch what he's going through cus I don't really have the right words to say...

But what about the rolled up $20 bill right next to him and the Oxycontin and other painkillers in his stomach.  It sounds to me like snorted some Oxycontin and coke, then couldn't sleep so he popped a bunch of sleeping pills and never woke up..

I saw a Dr. Phil episode about a person in a similar situation.  He was a cop for many years and was put in a situation where he killed somone.  Ever since then, he's been so depressed and he has a wife and three boys.  I thought this was very sad because when you're depressed, you miss out on so much in life.  There are always people who depend on you to be yourself and be happy.  Life is meant to enjoy, we're only here for such a short period of time.  I'd suggest finding a really good therapist that fits your needs.  The fact is that everyone gets depressed once in a while, even people that you'd never guess.  But there's no reason to stay depressed for years and years.

I don't react hardly at all, mostly I sit there very quiet and self-absorbed.  My mind starts racing and I'll start getting really depressed.  Once I start talking about then, then I'll realize the severity of the situation and become sad about it and then maybe cry about it a few days later. 

Target clothes can add up though.  Lately I just won't go anywhere because in reality I'm just not strong enough to say no.  My thing is shoes, I have rows and rows of sneakers in my closet.  But my girlfriend is the worst, if she runs out of money, she'll have me take her to the mall and make me buy her clothes.  She pays me back eventually but I can't say no and I know it's not good for her finances.