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what do you do?

what do you do?
5/1/2007 1:09:00 PM chevy4life
4 Posts chevy4life's Avatar
my girlfriends grandpa died about 3 years ago but its still really hurting the family. they talk about him like hes still alive and sometimes the grandma starts crying when she talks about him. my girlfriend and him were the closest out of all the grandchildren so i told her i wanted to go one day to meet him. she still hasnt taken me but i dont want to push it..what do i do?
Re: what do you do?
5/2/2007 8:51:18 AM maxine
12 Posts maxine's Avatar
Many people handle death in many different ways. Some can bounce back after only 6 months of grieving, Others take much longer. I would say give your friend space and let them know that if they need you for anything you will assist them. Knowing someone is out there for you helps those who are grieving.
Re: what do you do?
5/4/2007 5:54:09 AM diana
12 Posts diana's Avatar
I would say, chevy4life, that you need to let your girlfriend know she is going to make it through this loss. Be there for her and try to avoid any sarcastic comments about how long it takes to get over this loss. I would suggest telling her of the benefits of obtaining grief counseling. Tell her, if need be, that you will go with her.
Re: what do you do?
6/2/2007 6:20:24 PM kheyanne
138 Posts kheyanne's Avatar
Death is never easy. Like your girlfriend, I also talk about my mom as if she's still alive and here with us. I still don't know when I'll stop crying when I think of her. But I know in time, I'll be over mourning for her.

Re: what do you do?
7/6/2007 11:19:06 PM hazephase
317 Posts hazephase's Avatar
Don't do any time give her time , she will come out of it once she is fine , it takes time to heal , this is life , I have had the same type of a thing happen in my life , you don't have to push
Re: what do you do?
8/12/2007 9:01:34 AM joseph
47 Posts joseph's Avatar
There's nothing wrong with continuing to speak about someone after they've died, it's just keeping their memory alive. And of course her granmother still crys, they were probably married for the best part of 50 years. If she doesn't want you to visit the grave with her, then that's down to her, it's private.
Re: what do you do?
8/23/2007 7:59:34 AM vtabletop
148 Posts vtabletop's Avatar
The loss of a loved one is the hardest thing to forget.I don't think that her grandmother can ever completely get over the loss.As for your girlfriend, give her more time and support her.The pain will eventually subside.If she doesn't want you to see her grandmother yet ,then you can't do much about it.My uncle still gets sad thinking about my grandmother who left us in 9 years back.If you have cared so much for someone ,it's not unnatural.
RE: what do you do?
4/4/2008 12:12:36 PM Oakie4life
8 Posts Oakie4life's Avatar

Just wait until she is ready to take you there. I know it is hard to wait for things like this and I know you want to be in the part of her life, but sometimes death takes years and years for people to be able to cope with. Give it time and if she still hasn't taken you there, ask again and if she still doesn't I would just drop it and I think she will come around eventually.

RE: what do you do?
4/29/2008 10:19:48 AM brandnewmommy
22 Posts brandnewmommy's Avatar
Dont keep nagging her on taking you there. Let her know that its alright to remember him and keep talking about him but instead of grieving his death they should be happy about his life. He's in a better place and she will have to deal with death her whole life. This is just the first one, and she lost her grandpa, but there are others who lost their kids. Its ok to miss him but it shouldn't take over her life and she should know that.
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what do you do?

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