Hi all.

I have a really difficult situation at home - I have a relative who has always had anger-management and self-esteem issues, as well as a penchant for odd behavior. For instance, a few weeks ago she came over for dinner and, because we were watching the end of a movie on a DVD, she went off to the living room and sulked rather than (a) join us or (b) choose another movie we could have enjoyed together. She also does horrible things to others, then denies she ever did them and will insist that she's never in the wrong, while everyone else is.

Thing is, I'm convinced my relative is mentally ill, but the rest of the family insists that it's just odd behavior and that she's mentally fit.

Are there any tried-and-true methods to test this?

I'm not a psychologist, but if she goes from being happy to being sad all of a sudden, she might be bi-polar. I wouldn't really consider it odd behavior though, sulking I mean, some people are just like that, but it's also a sign of depression.

As for treating people like crap, and denying it, or genuinely not remembering it, it might be Munchensens Syndrome by Proxy, a mental illness in which people bring harm to others to direct attention towards themselves.

It's not up to you to define someone as mentally ill, that's up to a psychologist. If she's really mean to people in your house, then kick her out the door and tell her not to come back until she's seen a shrink. Because nobody deserves to be treated like crap for no reason.

alexdg1 wrote
Hi all.

I have a really difficult situation at home - I have a relative who has always had anger-management and self-esteem issues, as well as a penchant for odd behavior. For instance, a few weeks ago she came over for dinner and, because we were watching the end of a movie on a DVD, she went off to the living room and sulked rather than (a) join us or (b) choose another movie we could have enjoyed together. She also does horrible things to others, then denies she ever did them and will insist that she's never in the wrong, while everyone else is.

Thing is, I'm convinced my relative is mentally ill, but the rest of the family insists that it's just odd behavior and that she's mentally fit.

Are there any tried-and-true methods to test this?

Yes, it DOES sound a bit like bipolar disorder, but of course we are only guessing on these boards being most of us are not doctors, and also only have what you typed here to go by. But people with mood swings from highs to lows with denial have been known to be bipolar. Is she up for seeing a health professional to get diagnosed?

Even though I'm no expert on the subject, the relative the first poster is writing about does, at the very least, have some serious anger-management issues. Both Quenlin and at4101 are dead-on in suggesting that alexdg1's relative should at least seek professional help.

The only tried and true method is to get her to seek professional help and get diagnosed. The problem with this though is that most people with disorders do not feel that they need any help, so it can be a bit tricky. Short of having her commited, there is not much you can do unless she admits to herself that she indeed may have a problem and seek help or at least a diganosis.

leighdu said: The only tried and true method is to get her to seek professional help and get diagnosed. The problem with this though is that most people with disorders do not feel that they need any help, so it can be a bit tricky. Short of having her commited, there is not much you can do unless she admits to herself that she indeed may have a problem and seek help or at least a diganosis.

Getting her to seek professional help is the sticking point, me thinks.  We have tried to get her to see a psychologist or therapist, but, as you say, she insists there's not a thing wrong with her.

alexdg1 said:

leighdu said: The only tried and true method is to get her to seek professional help and get diagnosed. The problem with this though is that most people with disorders do not feel that they need any help, so it can be a bit tricky. Short of having her commited, there is not much you can do unless she admits to herself that she indeed may have a problem and seek help or at least a diganosis.

Getting her to seek professional help is the sticking point, me thinks.  We have tried to get her to see a psychologist or therapist, but, as you say, she insists there's not a thing wrong with her.

Unfortunately many people are like that. Good luck though, and keep us posted as to what she decides and/or what happens.

my grandpas kind of like this. When we spend the night at their house if we dont get up early and eat breakfast with him, (which btw he eats at 9 am sharp) he gets very grumpy and throws a fit all day. Also if were going out and we dont tell him from the day before to join us, he'll feel like we dont want him there and wont come with us not matter how mcuh we ask and insist. I think thats just the way his personality is. I dont think its a mental illness.