877 - ADDICTED Call our Addicted.com Lifeline 24 hours a day - 7 days a week

The best hope for your journey through recovery...

The best hope for your journey through recovery...

Login | Register
Visit San Cristobal Academy
Forums Home » Family and Friends of Addicts »

guilty

guilty
12/22/2007 7:58:00 AM surfville
309 Posts surfville's Avatar
My uncle recently got out of rehab for his alcoholism, he's been clean for around two months until we had a little family gathering where his wife could not attend. Most of the oldies there were drinking, few hours into the party he got a beer for himself and nobody had the courage to tell him not to since he's in recovery until my mom told him he could have only two bottles. I feel guilty that I didn't do anything, will he go to relapse because of this?
Re: guilty
12/23/2007 3:36:09 PM jnjsarauer
34 Posts jnjsarauer's Avatar
If he's drinking anything, then he has already relapsed. I know all about the guilty feelings you have. I have a family member with an alcohol problem who is supposed to stay sober but doesn't. I ended up feeling like a babysitter and couldn't stand that feeling either. He has to make the decision for himself from now on. Still, I'm going to get myself into Al-Anon because as a family member, this is a hard thing to handle.
Re: guilty
12/28/2007 2:54:03 PM fairytale
20 Posts fairytale's Avatar

I have known too many people that get clean from whatever their addiction is and are so proud yet turn around and go back to the misery of it once again. It is so sad to see them just go to waste.

Re: guilty
1/2/2008 9:02:30 AM norrtorr
4 Posts norrtorr's Avatar
has your uncle drank more since that incident?
Re: guilty
1/3/2008 8:52:11 AM fairytale
20 Posts fairytale's Avatar

I know two GREAT guys and both of them happen to drink too much or do drugs too much. I think the mother was incredibly wrong to say he could have only two beers. He can have NO beers is what she should have said. The two guys I know their mother would have acted the same way thus the reason they have gone through rehab and been back again and still drink and do drugs.

Re: guilty
1/4/2008 10:52:53 AM gusgoose
10 Posts gusgoose's Avatar
hasn't he already relapsed because he drank? I'm new at this hehe. But dont feel guilty because honeslty I think even if you did try to stop him he still would have found a way to drink.
Re: guilty
1/7/2008 9:17:11 AM pinkprincess
3 Posts pinkprincess's Avatar
Yes that's true Goose, if they have the desire in them to drink, then they're going to.... my dad had an alcohol problem and one 4th of July he decided to get drunk when my family was at the lake. And after that he's been an alcoholic ever since. At the time I was only like 13 but still there's nothing I could've done, even my mom couldn't stop him. It's something in them that they're not taking control over.
Re: guilty
1/24/2008 12:14:45 PM newsfreak01
9 Posts newsfreak01's Avatar
I think he would've drank even if you tried to stop him. But since he drank then he did relapse.
RE: guilty
3/11/2008 1:37:34 PM lovelyjenny
9 Posts lovelyjenny's Avatar
he already has relapsed. but just be careful watch out that he doesn't drink anymore and keep an eye on him. Remind him that he didn't go through so much when he quit just to relapse again and that its not worth it.
RE: guilty
3/15/2008 6:01:12 PM Aries
186 Posts Aries's Avatar
Make sure he doesn't drink too much if at all, once you become an alcoholic, you're stuck with it. I don't think it can truly be cured, if it's even inflicted in the first place. Keep him off the drink.

This may sound crude, but if he defies you, smack him across the face. Assuming you're stronger than him of course, addictions to alcohol can make someone oblivious to everything less than a slap across the face.
Flagrant abuser of Murphy''s Law
RE: guilty
3/17/2008 9:46:44 AM BELLA
28 Posts BELLA's Avatar
Slapping doesn't work.  I got so angry that I slapped my husband once and he was enraged.  You can't take away someone's dignity like that.  He ended up leaving for two days and I had no idea where he was, what he was doing.  But I think the best thing is to have another intervention of some sort.  Like, we've noticed you've started drinking again and think it'd be a good idea to stop now when you still can. 
RE: guilty
4/18/2008 3:56:20 PM Mrs.Ugly
90 Posts Mrs.Ugly's Avatar
He already has relapsed, but you just need to work extra hard and have your family work with him too in keeping away from alcohol and not going back to the alcoholic he used to be.
RE: guilty
4/28/2008 9:24:17 AM Nacho
17 Posts Nacho's Avatar
I think he needs a family intervention to pull him together and remind him why he is trying to get sober.  Let him know how much his family cares for him and how great of a person he is when he's not drinking. 
RE: guilty
4/29/2008 9:38:45 AM brandnewmommy
22 Posts brandnewmommy's Avatar
Nacho said: I think he needs a family intervention to pull him together and remind him why he is trying to get sober.  Let him know how much his family cares for him and how great of a person he is when he's not drinking. 


Thats a really good idea Nacho I never thought of that. I was going to say watch him close so that he doens't relapse again and everything he's worked so hard for go to waste.
RE: guilty
8/21/2008 11:53:38 AM Turtledug
20 Posts Turtledug's Avatar
I noticed you put this blog up a while ago.. did your uncle continue drinking or did he stop after this?
Forums Home » Family and Friends of Addicts »

guilty

Visit Riverside Center for Behavioral Medicine