Hey everyone. On July 9, 2007 my boyfriend of 2 years/son's father signed himself into inpatient drug rehab for the next year. The 1st 30 days I understood there is no contact. It's now 40 days and no contact from him. I found the website for the place and it only says they can have contact with their parents due to the fact that its a rehab for 13-21yr olds and he is 22 yrs old. The only reason they let him into the program is because his brother knows someone who works there. Every Wednesday night they have a meeting for the parents of the person in rehab and my boyfriends father and 2 brothers go. This is really bothering me because we have never ever been apart and we have an 8 month old son and I know he misses his son because he asked the rehab to contact someone for pictures and they called his father. I don't understand why I am left out of his recovery. Everytime my boyfriend was in trouble or anything I was always there for him. His family always turned their back. I feel like they pushed him into this rehab figuring he cant have contact with me and we would forget each other in the next year. I am so lost and confused and I don't know what to think or do. I wrote him a letter last Friday and sent it to him with pictures of his son in the hopes that he gets the letter. Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated. Please help me. I don't want to lose my boyfriend. I miss him so much and I am basically losing my mind.

thats dreadful!! you need to be included in his recovery more than anyone! This sounds very controlling and patronsing to me, I would make a complaint or try and get a patient advocate or someone to help you get in touch with him, he is rehab, not prison! good luck

My 9 month old son's father and my boyfriend of 2 years went into rehab on July 9, 2007 and has been in there since up until Sept 4, 2007 when he blew up at everyone because he is not allowed to have contact with me or his son. He walked out of rehab Sept 4 and contacted his father and his brothers met him and they wouldn't let him have contact with me or the baby and threatened him that if he didn't go back into rehab he would never see his son again so today he went back into rehab without ever seeing me or his son. I thought considering I am the mother of his child that he can have contact with me. I don't know what to do. I feel since his family pushed him into going back to rehab without contact with us, will make it worse and he wont stay in. See the problem is my boyfriend is 22 yrs old and the program he is in only goes up to age 21 and they let him in because his brother knows someone that works there. Considering the rehab is only for adolesents you can only have contact with family members. Also his father think sme and my boyfriend together are poison. He never liked me, and he knows I was not the codependent. He told me my boyfriend was into drugs before he met me. I understand that if anyone calls the rehab requesting info on my boyfriend they contact the father. Now when my boyfriend first went into this place I spoke to the intake cooridinator and now his father said because I did that they wont allow contact (which I dont believe is true). My boyfriend doesn't want to stay in this rehab because he wants contact with me and his son. I am afraid that in a few weeks he will leave again and we will be back to square one. Plus I don't think his father should be threatening him with our son. I would never deny him seeing his son. I just want contact with him so I can support him to the fullest and help him to recover so we can be a family

That's ridiculous. :\ Isn't there anywhere else he can go for rehab? Family is an extremely important part of rehab, the support is deeply needed. Not to mention the environment he's in, with people so much younger than him; part of the benefit of such a setting is meeting people like you and supporting each other in recovery. I can't imagine being around young teens is that helpful to him.

His father/brothers threatened that if he didn't go back, he wouldn't get to see you or his son again? And what authority of that decision do they hold that made him decide to go back? :\

I mean, it's excellent that he decided himself to go to rehab, but it sounds like it's causing even more problems that certainly aren't going to help him stay clean...

Best of luck to you. Try to find another place. Find out his and your rights.

There are adult facilities that he can go to but the only problem is his father is paying for it plus he is being threatened.. See if I could have contact with him I could tell him to be transfered to a different facility but I cant contact him. His father and brothers threatened him with his son and considering they wouldn't let him contact me I don't know if they bullshitted him and told him I said he can't see his son ever again and that I don't want to be bothered.

I don't know what to do. I want the best for my boyfriend and I want him to recover but I honestly don't think he will stay in rehab if we can't have contact, until we can have contact I feel he is just going to keep coming out. I dont know..

Have you tried talking to his father? telling him his son misses his dad. And that if he cares so much for his son shouldn't he let his son be able to see his own son??? I'm sorry but your boyfriends dad is totally heartless!!

I would use guilt if I was you. Show his father his grandson and how much he misses him. Ask him how he would feel if he was raised without a dad. Tell his father that your fully supporting your boyfriends rehab, and you think it would go a lot better if he had support by her and his son. A person in rehab needs something to look forward to and a motivation and if they're just keeping in basically a jail he wont ever get better!