my boyfriend of 3 years recently broke up with me because he started using drugs again. i thought we were past this, but i guess not. i really love him and i thought he loved me but now i dont know. i dont want to be second best to him. i never saw this coming and i just feel helpless and unwanted. i want him to get help but he refuses. i really want to be with him but im affraid that even if he stops using this time that he will again in the future.

You say he doesn't want to get help. That should tell you something right there. You are not his #1, the drugs are. I hate to say that, because I know how much it hurts, I've been there. However, you can't make him get help or quit, and being with him because you love him isn't fair to you. When he's using he can put you into a very dangerous situation, you can be arrested if he's caught with drugs with you, he can hurt you, he can steal from you, etc. I can't tell you what to do, but be really careful. The only think you can do is encourage him to get help. GOOD LUCK!

i think you should encourage him to get help and stay friends with him. but honestly if hes putting the drugs before you, then you deserve much better, and in time you could find someone whom you may love m\much more. you could always love again, it just takes time to find the right person. and honestly finding someone without drugs in their life is so much more relaxing and less of a headache.

I think that if you're going to leave him, you have to be strong enough to to maintain yourself and stand your grounds. If you tell him not that you don't want him to do drugs, then don't let him be around you. Tell him you don't want to be with him unless he's clean. When I'm having trouble with my boyfriend, I just try to keep myself busy with extra homework, working out, shopping, stuff that makes you feel good. Sometimes it's nice to just have some time to yourself or do soemthing fun with your friends. Being in a relationship with a drug user can be really draining and consuming, make sure that you're getting all you need in life!

If he insists on using all you can do is take care of yourself.

He can't change for you... the only lasting change will come when he decides to change for himself. Right now you say that he doesn't want help. You can encourage him, but in the long run it will only stick if he does it himself. Decide what you want and take a stand. If you want to be #1 in his life, then tell him that and stick to your guns! You may lose him, but you won't lose yourself in the process.

 I dont think he is ever going to sober up if he doesn't want to. I think once the drugs are gone he is going to figure out what he missed out on. When I was addicted to crack I totally put my girl 2nd best and only came to her when I needed help. She stuck with me through it all and I appreciate her so much for that. Shes my number one forever now. But if your boyfriend broke up with you for the drugs, I dont recomend going back to him at all.