My only hope in sharing this story is that it helps someone else.

A lot of people say drug users are only hurting themselves. Those people have never experienced having someone so close to them use.

I had known Tim from Kindergarten, had a crush on him in Jr. High, then he moved away. We reconnected on Classmates.com and then we started dating. I always pick horrible boyfriends, not abusive, but just jerks. Tim was always sweet to me, he never said one mean thing to me, and he constantly complimented me. It was a fairytale, meeting up with my Jr. High crush and falling in love.

That's where the story ends. I didn't realize Tim was an alcoholic. He never drank around me. I didn't realize he was addicted to coke, heroine, and meth. His family says he was clean during that time, but something happened and he slipped off the wagon. May 5, 2002, Tim changed my life. He asked me to go to the door of his cousin's house and ask for Joe (his cousin), because his Uncle and Aunt were mad at his parents, and didn't like the two talking. I didn't think anything of it. There was no Joe at the home. And with that, my boyfriend became my ex-boyfriend. He left me in a neighborhood I was not familar with. He took with him, my car, my cell phone, my purse, my credit cards, etc. Also, in my car, was my pictures. Pictures of me as a baby and growing up through high school. They were in my car because Tim had talked about wanting to see old school pictures and I brought them.

I walked to a nearby park and asked a bum sitting on a bench if he knew where there was a payphone. Everyone finds this part amazing, but the bum said I could use his cell phone. His cell phone was MY CELL PHONE! He said he saw a guy throw it away and take off. I called the police and they took me to the station. I filed a police report and waited for my ride home.

I'm not one of those girls who turned around and wanted him back. The love wasn't real. But, I was till heartbroken. The police kept questioning my willingness to follow through on charges, and finally Tim was arrested.

He was arrested and released on bail. I wondered where he got money for bail. I found out when I went to court, his new FIANCE's parents paid for it. Yes, he had a fiance within 4 months of this incident, not only that, but there was a baby on the way.

All of this being several years behind me, I'm not sure I'm truly over it. I haven't been able to date and I have major trust issues. People tell me that I shouldn't care, but I do. I don't know where Tim is, I don't want him to be part of my life, but I pray and hope he is ok. I hope by some miracle he is able to kick his addiction and lead a normal healthy life. I have nightmares about getting the news that he was found dead in the gutter from a drug overdose.

This situation was terrible, however, it's part of who I am. I am a Psychology major and wasn't too sure what I'd like to do with that, but now I'm set on drug and alcohol counseling. I may have not been able to help Tim, but I know I can help others out there. It's just a matter of time.

Wow. I am speechless after reading about your experience. Dealing with an addict is hard. Dealing with someone you love and don't know they are an addict is harder. I would like to say that I am glad that you came out of this ok, but there is probably emotional scars that have yet to heal. Addiction is a terrible thing. It robs people of time, families and relationships. These are the stats that you don't hear about in the news or research papers. They only talk financial statistics and deaths. The deaths of relationships is a bit harder to use in these stats. I am glad that you came away from this experience physically unharmed. The situation could have escalated to a physical level, in which you may not have been so lucky.

Being in a loving relationship takes a lot of trust. When that trust is broken, sometimes it takes a long time to be able to trust someone like that again. It will take time. It will take being able to trust people again, and knowing that some might let you down. Trust is a fragile thing.

However, look at the positive. You have decided to make a career out of helping others that suffer from the effects of addiction. That is a great and noble thing. You will probably never know how many lives you will change through your work. I wish you the best of luck.

Kaleb

This is truly amazing. You've been though situations that are unspeakable. It is good to hear that something good is coming out of the terrible times you have endured over the years.

I understand not being truly over this - it may take many more years (if ever). Addictions are terrible and they ruin lives (as as you have realized personally, they ruin more than just the addict's life). Hopefully, your ex-boyfriend has gotten the help he needs to rebuild his life. It sounds like you are already on the path to rebuilding yours... Good luck and check back soon - keep in touch.

GJ

Nar-Anon has helped me deal with my relationship issues. There is something about the addictive personality that some of us truly can't resist...I think it's a combination of positive and negative traits--addicts are usually really charming (and masterful manipulators), charismatic, and often creative folks--which are all good characteristics! I think a lot of us (and this definitely includes me!) are also drawn to the chaos, the instability, and the drama of a relationship with an addict. While I hate the pain my husband has put me through, it is familiar. It's a lot like the house I grew up in.

Good luck to you. If you haven't been to a 12 step, I highly recommend them.

www.thejunkyswife.com

Thanks, that's something I need to look into, Nar-Anon.

It was 5 years since this happened yesterday and I hate that it still affects me.

I'm glad to hear that you are alright after that whole situation. I also always seem to choose the wrong guys. I think you made a great decision in going into psychology. Sometimes I wish I had gone into that myself because of the things I've been through. I just hope that whatever I end up doing, I can help people in the long run.

I also have major trust issues and nightmares about things my family and previous boyfriends have done. I've dated, but a lot of relationships have ended because of my trust issues. Has there been anything to help you??

Thank you for sharing your story.

I definitely have to agree unless you have experienced close to you being an addict you have no clue who it really hurts. It is difficult for families who do not want to alienate the person from them to tell that person that there is a problem.

What I dont get is why did he want those pictures? and why did he keep them? Why didn't he just break up with you in a normal way, instead of putting you through all that. I'm very sorry you had to go through that, but I think its trully amazing that even after than your wanting to help others.

I don't think he was trying to steal her pictures, but he was acting like an addict and got a crazy thought in his head that it'd be a good idea to rob his girlfriend.  Any kind of addict, whether a sex addict, drug addict, gambling addict can take advantage of a loved one, even desert them.  I'm sure he's very sorry for what he's done to you, but there's even been things that my father was responsible for while drinking and I've accepted it but yes it still effects me, nearly every day.

Wow your story is really one of the craziest that I've ever heard! But what I dont get is how anyone even an addict could be that selfish! I wonder if he ever thinks about how much he hurt you and how messed up of him that was. I'm really sorry you had to go through that, maybe that happened for a reason to make you realise that you deserve a million times better. And sometimes it takes big things to show us that.