Well, I don't wanna tell my whole life story, I just want some advice...
I'm seventeen and graduating high school in two weeks, yayah! I just signed up for my college classes and so excited for next semester, I have a lot of friends (great friends), I'm pretty smart, and am finally comfortable with the whole 'adult' concept. I'm a very happy person, fun to be around, popular and all that, and so far I haven't managed to screw up too bad my senior year.
The one thing that i have trouble with in my life is my boyfriend. We've been together for a year and eight months, and the first, i wanna say year was great. I'm so picky with guys, i've never truly been happy with one guy, but once I started finding out who i was and making right choices, I met Andy. He's a great guy;, good, strong morals, blue eyes, dark hair, funny, everything i was looking for. After about a year I started finding out he wasn't the most ambitious person, which bothered me a little, since my family is all about hard work and working hard. My brother got third place in the state of California in wrestling and got a full ride scholarship, so i guess you could say i'm more attracted to men who truly like working hard. But since Andy finished high school early and got his GED, it's just been going down hill for him, since then, he hasn't been able to keep a job, he just recently got a DUI, and he'll be turning 19 in January and still has no clue about what he wants to do with his life. He had a really good job in construction, but his boss got arrested and we never heard from him again. Andy really likes construction and remodeling and stuff like that and wants to do soemthing like that but it totally not willing to go to college, he took two classes and dropped out, he refuses. I want him to be a General contractor, which you have to have your masters degree first. I just don't know anymore, he smokes pot everyday now and I can't seem to get him to quit, all of his friends do it and he gets so bored when I'm at school because he's not working or going to school. He gets odd jobs here and there, but doens't truly need any money. His parents are very rich and they absolutely adore me, it's so obvious that we're slowly becoming opposites. I think his parents baby him too much, which turns me off. I find myself growing more and more distant from him and he falls more in love with me everyday. I want to say "I"m giving you till the end of summer to get your act together" or "I'll only marry you if you go to college" but I'm afraid of being let down and i can't just flat out break up with him, I feel like we've been together for so long that it would just be too hard on me but especially on him. He really has done a lot for me, but shouldn't that be part of being a good boyfriend? My parents aren't very fond of him, they don't know about his DUI, and my mom doens't know that he lost his last job. I had a chance to go off to college, fully paid for in Florida, but he said he would break up with me if I ever left him. I really do love him, he's very attractive and he would make a great dad, he understands me so much, but I just can't see past the fact that he's floundering and has been for over a year. Should I wait around for him all summer, or should i just end it now, with prom a week away?

ok definately dont leave him before prom. helloooo you need a date, and it seems like you really do love him so i think you should pull up a lil more effort one last time to try to make it work. normally i would say your too good for him because it seems like you have your life on track and you could find someone with a great future. but i know what its like to love someone even with all their flaws, so give it one last try. just because you've been together for so long doesn't mean you should hold on forever, plus your only seventeen you still have an overwhelming amount of time to find the perfect someone. but i really lked your idea to give him till the rest of the summer, talk to him about it. if he trully loves you then he'd do whatver it takes to keep you, that will also prove alot to you. so give it one more try, and if doesn't work then i think you should leave him. hope it all works out :)

coachluvah

Thanks coachluvah for the advice, it's just so hard though sometimes because I'm so busy with my life and sometimes i feel like he's just bringing me down =( I'm trying though, we got in a fight last night and we worked it out today, he's really good about realizing why I was so mad the day after it happend lol.

i think that coachluvah is right, you shouldn't leave him yet just give it one more try :)

Heey my nagging worked haha! He signed up for fall classes next semester at the same college I'm going to! I couldn't be happier :) I hope he can keep motivated, he seemed really excited about it today, what are some ways to keep him motivated? Like you can't miss more than one class a month lol I dunno I don't wan to be a worry wort

dude just dump him. heloo theres other fish in the sea and you need someone whos going to spoil you. you dont need to be spoiling him. you should have your guy whipped! other wise whats the fun in that?

Well I really don't need him to spoil me rotten lol he takes care of things, like nails n hair n stuff. Lol In check sounds more lik it

thats what im sayin girlie get him whipped! but having him spoil you rotten is so much better trust me! my ex wasn't that cute but i'd get a new coach purse everyweek, i loved that boy :)

lol dont dump him money isn't going to buy you happiness, stay with him keep him motivated and make sure he does attend his classes. im glad your nagging worked!

The only problem with this that I see is he is doing it for you. And sorry to say that is not the right reason. He needs to do things for himself and if it benefits you as well great. You are right in encouraging him to further his schooling, as this will help him to stay out of trouble (hopefully).

Get a life attagirl as long as I'm his motivation its all he needs.

You are crazy and it is a good thing you are going to school because it appears you need the education. if you think you are the only motivation he needs, then good luck at keeping him... cause now you will most likely have a lot of competition. But good luck in your future.

Well all I can say is take him to prom but after that drop him. The one thing you have to understand is that you an't want something for someone else. They have to want it for themselves. He may not be the college type of person. School is not for everyone. I mean he did drop out of highschool so for him to go to college, would be like hmmm. So let him find his way and if its not meant, you guys will part ways mutually, I promise.

randle wrote
Well all I can say is take him to prom but after that drop him. The one thing you have to understand is that you can't want something for someone else. They have to want it for themselves. He may not be the college type of person. School is not for everyone. I mean he did drop out of high school so for him to go to college, would be like hmmm. So let him find his way and if its not meant, you guys will part ways mutually, I promise.

That was very well put, and I was attacked for stating the obvious. I guess that this person does not care about his well being and if she really thinks that then she will get what she gets in the end.

I wouldn't waste my time trying to raise a man. This is something he has to deal with and do on his own if he isn't willing to except guidance. I be darn if someone holds me back and doesn't help "us" prevail together. Not worth it to me.

It is obvious that this is a young girl, with not a whole lot of experience with men. I would have to say that honey if you need to have him everywhere you go then you need to re-evaluate your life to determine why you need him so badly, especially since he does things you are not interested in. And since he dropped out of high school the likely hood of him really going to college is next to none. he has you right where he wants you.

WELL THAT SEEMS THE ANWSER, COUCHE PURSES. WHAT ELSE IS THERE.

where did attagirl get that she wants him everywhere she goes? I think she means that she wants to have her own life and not have to worry about whether he's making the right choices for himself because ultimately in a relationship each persons choices reflect one another.

Well, things are getting better and better and the truth is, Duh I am young and experience isn't everything, older adults have many problems and just because they're older doesn't mean they're perfect with relationships. We're still together and love each other more everyday but it's so easy for both of us to get off track. I mean we're teenagers, just becoming adults and are both at crossroads in our lives. I still have so much time to decide who I want to spend my life with but I'm a very caring person and I don't like to see others screw up, especially when it affects me.

WOW. Now I want to get stoned with my girlfriend after school.

I used to smoke weed and not go to school and tell my parents that I was in school cause the would kill me if I wasnot in school , that was wrong

The most crucial thing this girl needs to do is take care of herself. Go to college. Get an education. Get your life going and not worry about what he is doing. Thank is his problem. You are not his keeper. Take care of you.

I am amazed at some of the answers in here. This is no place to tell someone to use another person for their money. We are supposed to be helping people, not being smart alecks. Please, go to college. Get training so that you can get ahead.

yeah i think alwaysright is right.

We are here to help and not for business.

Getting education from college is,according to me, the best thing.

Hi Alessandra,

I am 28 years old with a BS in Communications. I worked in real estate for 5 years and hated it. My point is, at 28, I am not sure what I want to do now. The company I was working for is out of business and I am just hovering until I figure out what I want to do. My point is, I finished college, and got tons of pressure immediately from family on what I was going to do. I hastily chose real estate, and I think it was big mistake. I have some friends who did not go to college, and it took them years to figure out what they wanted to do. Now, some of these friends are very successful and happy. Your man is freakin young! Take some of the pressure off him! If you really love him, give him some time (not forever). You are lucky to find someone you love. As long as he knows that he will have to do something eventually, I think that is what matters. As far as the pot smoking is concerned, see if he will meet you half way and just smoke on the weekends. One miracle at a time Alessandra! Good luck!