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me ex bf is an addict who recently broke up with me i need advice!

me ex bf is an addict who recently broke up with me i need advice!
7/7/2009 7:47:21 AM heartbroken84
1 Posts heartbroken84's Avatar
a guy i knew started drugs, drinking and sex at age 10. he was sent away to rehab and his paretns moved as well. he returned home 10 yrs later and convinced me to date him, he would stop talking to me for up to 3 weeks at a time sometimes but i always held on. he puts cocaine and partying before almost anything else. after i took him on a carribean vacation he literally broke up with me saying leave me alone i want to drink with my friends.. for weeks later he called me saying that his calls were accidental b*tch. finally he called and we met up and worked things out it was almost 2 months and we were talking about how great things were and talking about going on another trip ect. we had plans on the wknd and when i called him he said he "had a gf and wanted me to know so i didnt wait around or book us a trip" i was so hurt and so shocked, for all the times he has done this he says he was trying to make me hate him, he doesnt deserve to talk to me, he wishes i would say **** u i never want to see you again ect.. its hard to believe he could have a gf when he works nights and we talk quite a bit, if he had the gf i know i would have been out of the picture asap. all this happened after he went out of town with his buddies for 3 days (all of which do mass amounts of cocaine) and who knows what else... I am just so hurt because he told me to stay the f away from him his family ect, its so out of the blue each time he does this....
I have been nothing but a loving girlfriend it hurts so much to see him do this to himself. When i mention him getting help he says everyone knows hes going to die from drugs or alch, he wont be around long i should be with someone else, he doesnt want to stop its just "who he is" :( i hate when he shuts me out i want to be their as a friend even if he does have a gf.. theirs so much more to the story but i didnt want to write a novel.
RE: me ex bf is an addict who recently broke up with me i need advice!
7/8/2009 4:56:53 PM 187AllDay
1 Posts 187AllDay's Avatar
Hi girl, I'm so sorry for your struggles with this guy.  I've been in a similar place with my ex.  I let myself worry and stress.  I would even put him before myself and my own family.  In the end, I broke up with him and left him completely.  I forced myself to stop thinking about him and I started living my own life.  A drug addict will only hurt and use you.  You might want to look into codependency (not meaning to offend) but I noticed I had some of these qualities.  It's a part of growing up, we meet people who we really care about and fall for even though they're not very good people to be around.  But let me tell you, once you start living for yourself and your own happiness, then he will come around and realize how stupid he was for losing you.  I stayed away from my ex for a whole year.  And I accomplished so much for myself! And now he's back in my life as a good friend and things are civil and respectful and fun.  Time can heal most things... I hope this helped u in some way, good luck missy!! Stay strong no matter what. 
RE: me ex bf is an addict who recently broke up with me i need advice!
7/30/2009 9:36:53 AM Cristobel
4 Posts Cristobel's Avatar
You can help people help themselves, but you alone cannot help them.  They will change when they want to.  Obviously your friend is not ready to change, and is choosing his addiction over you.  It hurts and it doesn't feel right but that is the reality of this disease.  An addict will hurt anyone to get what they want, and also use people.  I would be careful when trying to help him.  Let him know that you're there for him because you care for him obviously, but that's really all you can do.  When he wants your help, he will reach out to you.  But you need to make sure you're in a good place to actually be helping him.  It takes a very strong person to be able to help an addict. 
RE: me ex bf is an addict who recently broke up with me i need advice!
12/17/2009 3:01:41 PM carlin7386
5 Posts carlin7386's Avatar
Discussion is good thanx for sharing..............
http://www.soberrecovery.com
RE: me ex bf is an addict who recently broke up with me i need advice!
2/11/2010 2:01:33 PM BrandyAl
12 Posts BrandyAl's Avatar
Hes a jerk, not even worth your time. If anything call his parents or who ever is responsible for him and send him to a rehab center.
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me ex bf is an addict who recently broke up with me i need advice!