I've heard a lot of smokers decide that they want to quit smoking and then they end up smoking less, and eventually pick up the habit all over again.  I'm dating a man that's been smoking for 7 years and although he's been talking about wanting to quit, he straight up told me that he really doesn't want to quit.  And that he actually enjoys smoking, and why would he want to quit something that he enjoys?  This made me angry because I had previously been encouraging him, and it was basically all for nothing.   Are all smokers like this, and if so, does the will to quit have to come from only them?  Or does the quitting process start like this for everyone?

I've never had an experience quite like yours, but I've had friends that told me to keep encouraging them to quit after they already did.  A close friend told me that I have permission to get angry at him if I saw him smoking.  This lasted about a month, and then after that I saw him smoking, and he said Yeah, I started up again.  This made me pretty sad and I told him that he should try to quit again.  I think all you can do really is keep encouraging them.

Quitting smoking is really just a personal choice.  Sure someone or something can inspire you to quit, but it's that person who decides to quit altogether.  But you're right about encouragement, that's all you can do really.  I've heard some sad stories about smokers who lie to their partners and continue smoking in secrecy. 

One of my close friends decided to have a cigarette this past weekend.  I was very disappointed in his decision, but for some reason it was too hard to not smoke at the time.  I'm worried that he's going to pick up the habit again.  I've never been a big smoker, but I saw how hard it can be to resist the urge to light up, especially when alcohol is involved. 

 Hi Missi,

 Remember that he won't recover unless he truly wants it. However, even if he wants it, he might have a very hard time recovering.

 I would suggest you offer him one of those new Electronic Cigarettes. They use water vapor instead of smoke, and have just enough nicotine in them to curve his cravings without being truly harmful. That is what I did to quit. He might come to one of these conclusions at one point, and then stop:

 1) This thing sucks, there is no point in using it. However, I don't know if I want to smoke again.

 2) I think I will stick to this (and eventually, he forgets to use it continuously).

 I came to the second conclusion, but I know people who came to the first.

 The E-Cigarette helped me to quit without feeling like I was going cold-turkey.

 Hope this helps.

 -Jay