Kirsty, 24, from Reading is no longer with her fiancée after he refused to stop looking at internet porn. "If he had faced up to his problem I could have lived with it but he thought everything was fine. Basically, because all of his mates do it and their girlfriends don't seem to care." She met Phil, now 31, through work, at a large insurance firm and the couple moved in together after six months. "About two months after I moved in, Phil started going on porn websites on his laptop. "We'd sit on the sofa, me watching telly and him gawping at porn." Her complaints caused blazing rows as Phil insisted his habit was harmless."He wasn't happy with what we did in bed any more. He had become more aggressive. When asked why she went along with it if she wasn't happy she says she felt like she was competing with porn. "After a bit I realized he wasn't having sex with me at all; his eyes would glaze over and he wouldn't look at me and we wouldn't really kiss. He just didn't seem like he was there."I moved out following a row after I poured a glass of wine over his laptop. It was better I found out what kind of man he was before we got married. We still work in the same building, though, which makes things awkward."

It bugs me when people use the excuse that 'everyone' looks at porn.  Because it's not true.  Nearness is likeness, and if you're open about looking at porn, then more than likely your friends will also.  But if you're the type of person that doesn't view it on a regular basis, then you'll most likely have friends that don't also.  I never had a problem with it until my boyfriend signed us up for a swinger website and put in info about my height, weight, appearance, looking for other couples.  He said it was some random pop up and he forgot about it after he filled it out.  But I can't tell you how angry I got.  I never trusted him after that, and I would get mad if he visited them because I was convinced that he was actually looking to hook up.  People don't realize that it's not just pictures, these are really people, real girls that are degrading themselves for guys pleasure, and by viewing it, they're supporting it.  One of my old friends decided to do porno and it's so disgusting, I won't talk to her because I don't want to be associated with someone who has absolutely no morals in life. 

Pornography addiction is a lot like alcoholism, it progresses overtime and slowly it can desensitize the viewer.  Most of the time it leads to sexual dysfunction in a relationship.  The whole fantasy of porno is unrealistic like Alessandra said, and the addict starts to have issues with real life sexual contact.  They might even start to prefer the fantasy, and this leads to problems.  Imagine your partner not even wanting to hold your hand let alone be intimate because of their online obsession.  A friend of mine use to act like she didn't care that her boyfriend viewed porno, but eventually she opened up and said that she was considering getting breast implants.  That's a sign that there were internal problems, she was obviously feeling insecure with her boyfriend's porn viewing, and she later said that their sex life was bad. 

These days it seems like it's 'cool' to be down for viewing porn with your boyfriend or just okay with him viewing it.  I think if someone has a problem with it, then that's all their is to it and their significant other should respect that. 

In the situation you're describing, with the girlfriend being 'cool' with her boyfriend... I think nowadays that may be the case.. But in reality, most girls don't like the fact of their significant other is viewing porn.  I felt a lot better after having a discussion with my current boyfriend, and he respected me more after bringing it up. 

I think that you can tell a lot about a guy you're dating when you bring up the issue of porn.  I noticed a complete difference in the response with my current boyfriend and my ex boyfriend.  My current bf gave me the assured reaction that I was looking for and made me feel ten times better when he reassured me that it wasn't a problem and that he wouldn't do it, and he felt bad for looking at it when he had a girlfriend.  I can't imagine still being with him if he told me that he would continue looking at it and just made up an excuse which is what a lot of addicts do. 

The movie Fireproof is a very good illustration of how pornography can destroy a relationship.  And trust me, there's a lot of people out there who completely disagree with this fact, but it really does.  It might not completely ruin someone's life, but it will definitely change your life.  Men will start to seek their satisfaction elsewhere so their significant other start to feel unneeded and ignored.  It's not a healthy component to a relationship and it creates disconnection. 

Fireproof is such a good movie. I think every couple should watch this movie..it is VERY touching. I just read that every 39 minutes a porno is being filmed! And that 420 million adult web pages are on the web. That number doesn't surprise me as much, but this is so sad. The porn industry is a very scary thing and I think it should be avoided.