My mother always told me to aim for the best. Even if your in a relationship you could be so focused on them and missing out on the person that's perfect for you. She said the only time that I should keep my eyes to just the person I'm with is when I'm engaged or married. That's how you can tell the guy will stick it out with you and be with you forever. I really wish I had taken her advice. I used to be like that, I would be in a relationship with a guy, I would never ever cheat, but if I met someone who seems better I wouldn't blow them off, because they could be better for me. But when I was 16 I fell in love with a guy who I thought would be best for me, I wanted him and only him forever. I blocked off every guy in my life, deleted every one of them off my myspace, stopped hanging out with friends when they're around guys. My boyfriend was my entire life, and the only boy that mattered. Well he turned out to be a very horrible person and now I regret not taking my mothers advice. If I had kept my eyes open and looked for someone even better than him maybe I would have realised all those times he would cuss at me that there is someone better, or when he cheated that there is someone who wont do that, and all the wrong actions he took with me that I can find someone better. My mothers advice makes perfect sense, I was young and still am and wasting my time with a person who is not meant for me isn't worth missing out on someone who could be.

    There's always a plus side to everything ya know!  Okay so you wasted a lot of time with this guy who turned out to be a complete dud, but I'm sure you've learned a lot about yourself and especially what you don't like in a guy/relationship.  Sometimes it takes us many times to overcome a mistake.. now you know some people are the way they are. No matter how much you love them or all of the things you do to them, they can still be messed up to you.  Now that you're older and able to walk away, it'll be easier to identify what you like in guys, and what to stay away from. 
   I'm in a similar situation, but my ex had drug related issues.  When I first met him, I wasn't in a very good place in my life.  I felt like I wasn't a good person and I was slipping away from myself; basically falling and falling looking up with no hope and then all of a sudden He caught me. I just plopped into his life and it was like this glorious thing for me, I thought he was just the greatest guy.  And he really did bring out the very best in me, made me want to be a better girl and I changed my ways and grew up to be a beautiful person.  But things didn't go so well for him... now I know that people can change, one bad decision after another, carelessness, lack of integrity, they all add up and you can eventually lose yourself; especially when that person chooses drugs above everything.  There are lots of things that can take the specialness out of a relationship and I can say that He was responsible for that.  But now that I'm finally getting over it, I feel so much healthier mentally and I feel like more myself than ever.  It sucked being in a bad relationship, I felt like everyday I was losing myself more and more, like I was my own best friend and that's not good. 
    Trust me, there is someone out there that can make you so happy, and treat you like an absolute princess, not for any other reason than just because they deeply care for you.  Someone that only wants to put a smile on your face and would rather die than see you sad.  Sometimes we have to go through things in life to learn lessons.. and the ones that are learned the hardest are always worth it in the end.  Everything that we overcome can only make us stronger!  You'll find someone.. someone ten times better in every way and maybe you'll appreciate them that much more because of everything you went through.. ;)

Your right about that. I did realize all the things I don't like in a relationship and I would make sure to never have again. I never thought that having a jealous boyfriend would bother me, infact I liked it at first, it made me feel like he cared. I thought the more jealous he was the better! But it's not like that I realized his jealousy wasn't because he cared for me and was scared to lose me, it was because he cared about hisself and didn't like the image of what he would look like to other people if his gf was hanging out with another guy. I wouldn't want a jealous guy ever again. Also cussing, i personally dont cuss, but I dont really get bothered when people cuss around me. He would cuss sooo much when he'd get mad that it just made him seem so trashy I hated it! I learned a lot about my likes and dislikes and I know what to look for. I trully believe that there will be someone out there who loves me and is made just to make sure I'm happy. My only fear is that when I find that someone that I will still think of my ex. I really dont want that. But I know for sure the next relationship I get in, I wont kick every guy out of my life, one of those guys I kick out could be the one thats meant for me. And I'm not going to just settle for what I get, I want the best.

I can really relate to this post... my mother always told me to never settle for a guy.  Sometimes we just get comfortable in a relationship, like you're content with that person, there's no major problems in the relationship.. but you want someone who is going to make you feel better than okay.  This was the problem with my last relationship.  I would do anything to make him happy, but he would only make sure I was OK.  To him, his happiness was above everything, even if it was at my expense.  A relationship should be fair and both partners needs should be just as important.  That's real love.. when their needs are just as important as your own.

I think both your mothers are right. You shouldn't settle for a guy unless he is absolutely perfect for you and unless your married. Most the guys I have been with, a few of my friends didn't like. I've vowed to never date another guy that my friends didn't like because in the end they were always right. But if you look at all your friends who are in amazing relationships, all of their friends definitely approve of him. And your mothers are right, if your with someone and someone else comes a long, you should give them a chance because they could be much better for you than the guy your with. I believe when it comes to a relationship you dont want to be in then its OK to be selfish. I've stayed in relationships many times because I didn't want to hurt the guy but in the end I was hurting my self by staying with them.

Even when you do find the right guy, it's best to take things slowly.. I've had many relationships that were rushed and that's not good.  You want to take the time to get to know a person because they may only seem right because of a certain place that you are in life.  And then people change, sometimes for the better or worse.  Lately I've been hearing a lot about how relationships are great in the first year, and then after that everything goes to crap.  But if you stay true to yourself, then you'll know that the relationship going dull wasn't your fault. 

I do agree with you about taking things slowly. I knew a girl who would get into relationships and say "I love you" within a week! I think that's totally wrong, love doesn't come instantly it grows. And when a person says "I love you" sometimes the other feels obliged to say it back right away. The relationship starts getting serious when it really shouldn't be at all at that time. It wont last long and is almost guaranteed to end terribly. I recently got out of a bad relationship, and honestly I'm thrilled to get into a new one. I know what to look for now and what things to be aware of aswell. I haven't met someone yet, but I will, and I want to take it extremely slow, I want to make it work. But I also will keep my eyes open, not just target someone and stick to them.

I don't think anyone should say 'I Love you' until they're ready for marriage.  Because high school relationships, even mature relationships just get messed up when each person acknowledges deep feelings for each other.  I use to tell my boyfriend that I loved him all of the time, even when I was mad at him and I wasn't exactly sure if I meant it. You just get in the habit of saying it and sometimes it's hard to get past that.  I think you can tell a person that you really care about them, and it could mean so much more.