Have you ever noticed that parents who are alcoholics or druggies can be very judgmental and cruel without justice?  I'm not stereotyping here, but just from my own experience and also talking to others about their parents...  I remember my dad would get so angry at things that were out of my control.  Or he would get angry with me, over something he did.  Simple things too..  One time I fell and landed on a sharp rock so I got this gash in my leg.  And he got so mad at my brother and I.  Another time I was talking to him while he was closing a window, and he tore the blinds on accident and started screaming at me, Look what you made me do!  I think back then, he felt like he was so miserable and disappointed in himself that he would take that anger out on us kids.  I've gotten over this small disappointments, but it did change me as a person.  A few friends that have alcoholic parents have complained that their grades were never good enough, even though it was enough to be on honor roll.  It's so sad how a parents addiction can shape their kid's future, and even adulthood.  And the alcoholic parents never realize how their actions affected their kids.

I knew a girl who had an alcoholic mother and her mom would yell at her for everything. The girl got a $50,000 scholarship to an extremely good university and her mom yelled at her for not trying hard enough to get a full paid scholarship. She would wake her up at like 3 in the morning and yell at her and make her wash dishes that she just soiled in the past hour. Sometimes she would just get angry out of the blue and not let her daughter go to school. She was really mean and messed up to her kids. Her daughter was really pretty, good at school and so respectful. Later on in college she turned into a bisexual. I dont know if that was maybe due to her mother. She never got motherly love, so maybe she was looking for love in the wrong places. But I think it was so terrible how her mother would treat her.

Yeah, there's all kinds of different ways kids can be affected. And kids don't realize until later in life how their parents screwed up. But like everyone says, Kids don't come with instruction manuals.  And I know it's hard to be able to give your kids everything they need to be healthy adults, but still most of all they need to feel loved and taken care of.  I think after having went through this with my dad, I now realize how important it is to never yell at your kids and just be fair when disciplining them.

The bad thing is many people who were raised like this think its OK to treat their kids the same way as well. My grandpa was pretty harsh with my mother. Not physically but the things hed say and prevent her from doing. My mother is not even half as close to how he was but she has some of his traits as well. She doesn't notice that she takes after him in some ways and that shes making the same mistakes. The way you raise your children will also be a lot like the way they raise their own.

danise said: The bad thing is many people who were raised like this think its OK to treat their kids the same way as well. My grandpa was pretty harsh with my mother. Not physically but the things hed say and prevent her from doing. My mother is not even half as close to how he was but she has some of his traits as well. She doesn't notice that she takes after him in some ways and that shes making the same mistakes. The way you raise your children will also be a lot like the way they raise their own.

This is true, because you learn mostly everything from your parents. Even if you notice, the way girls put on their makeup, its the same way as their mother puts it on and they use the same stuff. If your raised in a family that walks around barefoot in the house, you will be the same. But if you were raised in a family that would wear slippers as soon as they step out of the room then thats the way you are as well. So whatever way your family treated you, even if you swear on everything you will never be the same, there still be some traits that wont change.