I am 30 years old. Im knocking on the door of 300 pounds. Ive been a big girl all my life but am now getting to a breaking point. Im at a time in my life where I think im running out of time to do those things that others around me are doing. Relationships, kids, careers. My self esteem...my self worth is virtually non existant. My social anxiety horrible. I moved into my own place all alone 3 weeks ago and where some would say this is the beginning of a new life, friends visiting, parties....It is my binging haven  I looked at it as an opportunity to eat what I wanted with no one watching. Ive been binging until im uncomfortably full. Ive been comsumed with guilt and self hatred afterwards. I have no friends, I dont go out in fear Ill be the fattest person there. If by change I do go anywhere.... my fears involve will i fit in the seat or booth.. will others stare or whisper about me. I dont know where to begin to get help. Im ashamed of my problem. I dont have insurance or a doctor. Im embarrassed to go to OA meetings... Ive tried to do it alone and Im afraid it doesnt work. No man will ever desire me at this size. I just want to be happy and to not feel so alone. Im a heart attack waiting to happen but have no motivation to get up and take a walk in fear that someones going to scream something out a window...or throw something at me. This world is a cruel cruel place... someone help me....

I feel your pain, as I have also been at a state in my life where i felt hopeless like no one cared.  I think everyone has been to certain extent.  It seems like you're extremely fearful; of the world around you and yourself.  But reaching out and admitting that you're struggling is a step forward and a success!  So i want to welcome you to this forum, as we will try our best to help you through what it is you're going through... 
I've found that the best way to lose weight, is to change  my lifestyle and entire outlook on life around.  Get excited about losing weight, because you're achieving a goal with every pound, every inch lost!  There's been times where i've reached a plateau in life, but it only drives me to change my self, change my surroundings and become something better.  If you're not proactive in managing your impulse eating, then you're only going to slip farther and farther away.  But turning your life around is soo worth it!  And I hope you believe these words, because I know from experience that the 12 steps, going to meetings, getting closer to my higher power, it all works!  I think first you should tackle your weight, it's a health concern and seems to be the root of your depression and anxiety.  Slowly those problems will be attended to without even realizing it!  If you're proactive about your health and your internal state of mind, I promise you, you will feel happier and healthier!  Give it time, give it thought, effort, change your internal dialect to positive thoughts, love and be happy with yourself first, and others will recognize that and slowly you will gain friendships and possibly a lover!  But you have to love yourself first!  I hoped this helped, I can only offer you advice from what I've learned... I give you a lot of credit for sharing your story here on this forum, and remember, take it one day at a time! :):)

I agree with jaslena. To change your going to have to create a whole new POSITIVE outlook on life. Your only 30 you've got your whole life ahead of you and its not too late for change. Your depression could be a big big factor of why your overweight. Also it could be genetic, a thyroid problem anything. Go to a doctor, talk to them about your goals to lose weight. Dont feel ashamed I think every doctor has seen someone much more overweight.Your doctor will teach you many safe and effective ways to lose weight. But its not going to come easy. Your going to have to work very hard for it.Also maybe you could be qualified to get a gastric bypass surgery. I knew a guy in high school with me who was also 300 lbs and got that surgery and now is really so thin that you would have never ever thought he suffered from a weight problem. Talk to your doctor and see.
Also keep getting support. From friends, family, online threads like these, even a therapist if you reeeeeallly want to. Dont be ashamed to hang out with friends who are thinner than you. They're not going to think of you any different I promise. I'm thin and I hang out with plenty of friends who are much bigger than me and I love them just the same and still think they are absolutely beautiful. The only thing that sucks is we cant share the same clothes, they have really cute clothes that I would love to borrow! :P But use your friends as motivation to lose weight.
Let us know how your doing and I really hope my advise helped a little.

There's nothing wrong with exercising indoors, and it might even be better because you'll feel more comfortable.  Once you get really into it and gain more confidence, a gym might be a good idea.  A gym is a place where everyone's sweaty, no one really cares about appearance.  And it's also a good place to meet new people who have similar goals as you do.

Exercise bores me out! I hate going on the eliptics and the treadmill and bike I get so bored! Not even tired just super bored! I realised that taking those classes, like kick boxing, yoga, all those keep me much more entertained while at the same time im getting an extremely good work out! Plus when you take a begginers class no one around yuo knows what they're doing either so its fun laughing at each other and ourselves! try that, and also work on a good nutritional healthy diet as well. I think talking to a doctor about your diet would be a great idea.