I am in recovery in my mind I have not done any heroin in the past 2years. I am on methadone though? Some people say I am still am addict but I believe in my heart that I am clean .Im not a human pin cushin anymore,im not selling my body anymore,im not stealing or lying anymore. I feel great but I am still in the relationship I was in when I was using and its not safe,physically,emotionally,and mentally. So i guess I was just looking to vent a little bit and talk to some people who are maybe in my situation.

I think you're venting about two different issues here.  First of all, if you truly believe in  your heart that you're clean, and you feel good about the position you're in regarding recovery, then stick with the program and keep moving forward.  As long as the methadone isn't impacting your life in a negative way and affecting your family/interpersonal life then it's a good step to take.  I think eventually you will be come less and less dependent on it and be able to live day-to-day without a prescription, and that's fantastic!  Regarding your relationship, I think when in recovery, sometimes you need to be somewhat selfish and decide what's best for you mentally.  Get information on relationships, specifically the factors of unhealthy relationships regarding communication.  An abusive relationship can sometimes be fueled by codependency and lack of self-confidence.  But it can also be fueled by an over barring, abusive and controlling partner.  If you're needs aren't being met, and you cannot communicate effectively and you're constantly holding feelings in, then you may be in an abusive relationship.  I hope my 'advice' helped you!  Just be strong and try to get help so that you can be happy in your recovery!

Alessandra :)

Welcome to Addicted!  We're glad to have you here, I hope your day is going well!  I remain in a relationship with my girlfriend, and we are both in recovery.  There was a break up and we took a few months apart, well, she wasn't talking to me!  But it made us stronger individuals and we actually appreciate each other's needs much better than before.  And I think the relationship is much better, we're growing as a couple, but we're both maturing also.  I think recovery can either make or break a relationship, but both partners need to be willing and committed to that person, in order to have a healthy relationship.  And things may not work out, but as long as you're happy with the situation, that's what matters.

For your relationship, your saying its not safe physically, emotionally, and mentally. I have terrible luck with relationships and somehow they all turn out to be the same. If one guy seems amazing, after a few months hes a person I never thought hed be. And I've been in physically abusive relationships and emotionally. What your describing seems to be one of those. It took me a while to realize that there is such things as healthy relationships and that I could have one of those. The relationships I'm used to were ones where we'd be fighting everyday and hed say mean mean things everyday or do mean things. But I knew of worse relationships and thought this was normal but its not. Dont compare yourself to the relationships that are worse than yours, compare it to the ones where they seem perfect. Why cant you have one of those too? your just as good as the other girl and you deserve the best. So from what your describing I do suggest to get out of this relationship because you can find better. Much better, and you could love them more.
As for your methadone use, is it perscribed? Or are you just using it to fuel your cravings?

If there is a little part of you that thinks your relationship is unhealthy then it most likely isn't. Healthy relationships exist and you can have one of those and spend everyday happy rather than having the problems that you probably have in your relationship now. As for your methadone use, its not good to substitute one addiction with another. True a methadone addiction is better than a heroin addiction but imagine how much better life can be without being dependent on any drugs! When drugs dont even cross your mind and you dont need it. I suggest taking it step by step and quitting your dependency on methadone as well. Just because your not selling your body or stealing or lying anymore doesn't make it better for you either. Take it step by step, stay up to date with sites like this one so that you can get the help you need. Seek out a narcotics group and get a friend or relative to help you quit. If you made it through a heroin addiction and your strong enough to beat that, I'm 100% sure you have it in you to beat this one as well.

.Im not a human pin cushin anymore,im not selling my body anymore,im not stealing or lying anymore.

This may be true, but you still are harming your body and switching from one addiction to another. Your still considered an addict and its tough to beat this addiction also. Its so much better for you mentally and physically if you find a way to get out of this addiction too. Heroin addiction is the hardest to beat and you made it through that, thats trully amazing, now make it through this one too and live a sober life! No feeling is greater than a sober feeling! Sobriety is the way to go!

Methadone is killing more and more people.  In has become the deadliest drug in Oregon.  Methadone was designed as a pain reliever by Germany in WW2.  But since then, it's become useful for drug replacement therapy.  Sadly, many methadone users report the withdrawal worse than heroin.  Methadone users become so dependent, that they must go to clinics every single day, or else they get extremely sick.  It's mostly just an alternative to heroin, a legal alternative like someone said.  But you eventually should get off of it.  And don't let what other people say bother you so much, take recovery at your own pace and make a consistent effort each day.

People think that methadone is a safe drug, just like people who abuse perscription drugs think. Because its handed to you by a doctor, you cant get introuble for it with the cops and it comes in a better package than street drugs do. But thats not true, methadone and other painkillers are just as bad as street drugs. And its still called "abuse" when your using it and dont it. "abuse" is never a good word whether its methadone, heroin or even cake. I think it should be your next mission to get off methadone and have the freedom of being wonderfully sober!