Hi all,

Ok, so the other night after fighting and deciding to no longer talk as said in my previous post, my A-exbf blocked me online. As you can imagine, I was kind of hurt over that. Well, last night I saw that he UN-blocked me, as he popped up on my buddylist. I went ahead an blocked him, so that he wouldnt have that option of contacting me (atleast not under his normal screen name), but it makes me wonder, why did he first block me and then go ahead and UN-block me. Who knows, i'll never know the answer to that one. My real question here is this... I'm finding (probably because of my un-addressed love addiction and/or co-dependancy issues) that EVERY NIGHT i'm "checking up" on him! Like a mad woman! I go onto his aol profile to see if any changes were made to it, and I go onto his new myspace page to see if he logged on since August when he last logged on, and if so, if any new friends were added, etc etc. I feel sick!! Why cant I let this go and stop checking on him and just let him go and focus on MYSELF? I mean, in a sense I did ok because all I did was look, I never IM'd him (where in the past I know I would've) or texted or called him, I just let it be. But still, the fact that I dont have the control yet to stop myself from checking on him really bothers me. Has anyone else experienced this?

Like a mad woman. Yep. Accept it. And then maybe you can say to yourself every time you are thinking about checking up on him, "That's the crazy part of myself that does not help me in any way. Turn away. Resist." And then don't do it. Put post its around your monitor telling you to leave the creep alone and respect yourself enough to not stoop to that level. You are feeding something in yourself when you do this. Something unhealthy. You need to start starving this part of yourself. And start feeding another, more healthy, more productive part of yourself.

Take the option off the table in your mind. Make it associated with something gross, like bugs or worms. Imagine the two things together. This trick has really helped me in the past! It seems so simple but it can help.

I do this a lot. Even when we were together I had his passwords and my phone was logged on his facebook 24/7. I checked it constantly probably more than he did. And we got into a big fight so I deleted him off my facebook and my myspace and I changed my passwords which lead to him changing his! (I was so mad). I couldn't see his profile anymore and it was driving me crazy. I got my friends password who was also friends with him and I'd keep logging onto hers so that I could see his profile. I feel like a stalker, but when I see girls commenting him and stuff it makes me hate him more and helps me get over him.

Wow that's pretty crazy.  I wonder what made you get to this point, that you have to look at his comments all day long?  Think about all of the things you're missing out on, by just obsessing over this.  I'm sure you would feel pretty violated if you knew that he was checking your emails and messages all day long, right?  A good relationship should have privacy and boundaries.  You should still be able to trust that person.

I think one of the biggest problems with sites like MySpace is this very thing. Although everything is out in the open, it is so easy to get consumed and obsessive in a way on checking up on people. I also think that sometimes people move you on their top friends to be hurtful or to make a point and for some strange reason it does hurt! I think if you need to then you should delete your MySpace or any other form of communication like that where you have the ability to check up on him. I know when you are going through a break up it's very easy to do, but like other people said it's not healthy and if anything you are just making yourself more upset.

When I was with my girlfriend we had eachothers passwords and she would always read my messages before I did and my comments everything. I couldn't complain though because I did the same to her. She had me going crazy because at first I wouldn't check her stuff much but when I did a few times I found out a few things she was hiding. It got really crazy though to the point where she would reply back to peoples messages on my site and I'd comment people back from hers. Our relationship didn't end up working out but it made me feel like maybe life is sometimes better without myspace.

I think relationships were a lot simpler before myspace and facebook.  Basically everyone has a profile, and I can imagine there's many relationships that have actually ended because of issues related to these social networking sites. 

If you have cheating boyfriends or girlfriends myspace and facebook could actually help. A person can always delete whats on their phone and try to hide things from you,  but so many people get caught through myspace or facebook. The person they cheated with could message them and mention something, even if its not cheating but flirtatious conversation that a person in a relationship should not have. The other partner could find all this out and figure out that this relationship isn't right. So just like all things in life these networking sites have their pros and cons.

Artsy said: Hi all,

Ok, so the other night after fighting and deciding to no longer talk as said in my previous post, my A-exbf blocked me online. As you can imagine, I was kind of hurt over that. Well, last night I saw that he UN-blocked me, as he popped up on my buddylist. I went ahead an blocked him, so that he wouldnt have that option of contacting me (atleast not under his normal screen name), but it makes me wonder, why did he first block me and then go ahead and UN-block me. Who knows, i'll never know the answer to that one. My real question here is this... I'm finding (probably because of my un-addressed love addiction and/or co-dependancy issues) that EVERY NIGHT i'm "checking up" on him! Like a mad woman! I go onto his aol profile to see if any changes were made to it, and I go onto his new myspace page to see if he logged on since August when he last logged on, and if so, if any new friends were added, etc etc. I feel sick!! Why cant I let this go and stop checking on him and just let him go and focus on MYSELF? I mean, in a sense I did ok because all I did was look, I never IM'd him (where in the past I know I would've) or texted or called him, I just let it be. But still, the fact that I dont have the control yet to stop myself from checking on him really bothers me. Has anyone else experienced this?

maybe get a hobby darlin. go out and try a class. drag your self to a
seminar on something new. the computer will be waitin when u get home.
sometimes i breathe deeply. doa crazy dance around the house, cry
loudly, scream ragefully, eat a big bowl of ice cream and watch your
favourite movies with some new ones. somethings ive done to ge tout my
obsessive freak is to do some hip hop dance classes, cook to cab
calloway and learn how to fly kick. its all mad, delirous and tears and
laughter infused but hey....as time goes by i forget to feel obsessed
with that lost perfect love and how good it felt and begin to start
having my own life and feeling something like freedom

I have to agree with iWonder. I mean myspace and facebook cause so many
issues not just in boyfriend/girlfriend ones, but friendships, it
causes harassment and people to constantly feel addicted to the site
and check on people. I'm totally guilty of this too, but I mean if you
really think about it, it's ridiculous. Before this though there were
xanga's and people have had IM for years. For me, I can't even delete
my profiles because then I feel so disconnected from the world.

Thats how I am too. I have both a MySpace and Facebook, but lately I haven't been using MySpace at all. I was thinking hard about deleting it. But I dont want to lose contact with all those people. So many dont have a facebook and are still hooked on MySpace. So right now I'm keeping it just for that.

How come we feel the urge so bad to get on and check daily? I mean I found myself on Christmas Day on my profiles to see what people were up to and look at new pictures. I really just want to get rid of it all, but like all of you I can't get myself to do it.

I have a friend who was a BIG myspace fanatic! She was on it constantly and always looking at her friends profiles, pictures, trying to find some new gossip. Anyway her boyfriend wanted her password and she had 3 years worth of messages in her inbox. So she deleted her whole myspace just so that he wouldn't read all those messages. Its been about 2 months and she said she doesn't miss it at all. She thought she would miss it a lot and go through her friends myspace to look at others but she doens't at all.