RE: Trying a drug make you addicted?
7/15/2008 1:22:18 AM
tommy
1 Posts
baylee,
im 18 and living in texas. i read your discussion topic and wanted to fill you in on what i know which, surprisingly, is pretty much every stinkin thing dealing with addiction. i wish i knew nothing, because to get that knowledge took me battling a steadily worsening addiction to, while mainly cocaine, a wide variety of pretty hardcore drugs. if there is one thing you get out of this, let it be this: there is a HUGE difference between a person being physically addicted to a drug and a person being a true drug addict. treating a physical addiction is as easy as tying the person with the problem to a tree until all the drugs are out of their system. they would then have no more physical cravings for the drug, which, for a heavy user, is the only problem associated with their inability to stop. I am a prime example of the real deal addict. during the heat of my addiction, from about 15 yrs old to about two months ago, I ruined nearly everything i had going for me in my life, which was far more than your average Joe. i come from a wealthy family who loved me as a child and taught me right from wrong, along with excellent work ethics and manners. everything was perfect, and i had no reason to be unhappy, yet i battled from deppression for as long as i can remember. i was haunted with a constant feeling of loneliness and never fealt like i fit in, even when surrounded by a large group of my friends. this feeling continued until the beginning of seventh grade; the first time i drank. when the liquor took its effect on my body i fealt, for the first time in my life, like i was exactly the same as all those whom i had previously fealt inferior to. i drank every chance i got and, as i tried harder and harder drugs, they all made me feel more and more confident with myself. i tried almost every drug in the book, some quite a few times over a short period of time, using every day for a week etc. However, where it seems i should have gotten addicted to these drugs, the only one i ever had a problem with was cocaine. it is the substance that gives me that feeling of supreme well being, and no other drug has since given me that kind of release. my addiction progressed very quickly and, while i still lead my class in academics as well as atheletics (football captain and all district pitcher), i was quickly spiraling out of control. i should be dead today, and it is a miracle that i was never involved with the police. i decided to tell my parents of my addiction, for i realized it was beyond my own will power to stop, and i had tried many times. they were shocked as they had never been before at the words that came out of my mouth that day in october, 2006. they had suspected that i had smoked weed on several occasions, but cocaine was something they deffinitely were not prepared for. i was now being drug tested, had the support of my parents, and also the support of several of my closer freinds. i had every tool and every reason i needed to stop, but being an addict is so much more than having the resources available. about 3 weeks after my confession i slipped back into the same old habits. now i had to not only hide my drug use but also find ways around the UA's. i had no problem doing either; my life in addiction had made me both a supreme liar and a master manipulator. i began using my parents love for me as well as their want for me to enjoy a normal life to not only get out to get high, but also to get their money to supply my habit. i began stealing from them at home as well as at my Dad's office. he is a veterinarian and it was about my fifteenth birthday that i began shooting the animal tranquilizers. my addiction led me to, one awful night, break out a window in the clinic and steal bottles of tranq's. I broke into my own father's business and stole from him, a business that would one day be mine... i broke the last moral that i had managed to hold on to; that i would not let my addiction disturb my family's lives. It was, i believed, as low as i could go. i had hit my bottom for sure right? Wrong. Two days later my mom came to check why the bedside lamp was on in my room and found me unconscious with a needle and syringe hanging from my arm, dried blood covering my vein. ill try to hurry this up and get to the point. the next week i entered my first treatment center for one week. i used the day i got out and had no idea what went wrong. i was still focusing on the external stimuli as the cause of my problem. i re-entered the same treatment center to detox yet again. i graduated high school early and went to central texas to a 45 day treatment center that was rated as one of the top 5 in the world. there they taught me what nobody had ever before presented. that addiction is a disease and if you are a true addict you are hooked on mind altering substances (not necessarily a specific one) from the first drug or drink you ever took. they told us that there is no power in this world that could make us quit if it was not our greatest desire. the only One that had the power to save us was a Power Greater Than Ourselves. find this power and make Him a part of your life. only then can you be free. Now the point of this ten page essay: while a drug may be physically addicting, they do not make you an addict. That took a long time to just say that one little thing, but i hope i gave you an idea of where untreated addiction can take you. Now im going to ask for a favor from you. I have allowed myself to slip back into my drug use and am having a hard time getting back on track. if you have any suggestions as to what to do i would appreciate them. if you have none, then i will ask with all my heart for you to keep me in your prayers. You know how dangerous it i for me to slip back into the old lifestyle. i dont think i could live through it again.
Thanks,
Tommy