When dealing with someone who is or has been involved with drugs, it's important to draw the line where you stand.  I've been in two serious relationships and unfortunately they both went sour because I didn't let them know early on that deep down I wasn't comfortable partying and doing drugs together.  I've realized that when you're in a relationship, you're supposed to make each other better and be supportive and act like a best friend.  You'd feel horrible about letting your best friend down, right?  So why would you do the same to your boyfriend/girlfriend?  If you let them get drunk once, they'll do it again and again.  And nothing ruins an attraction/connection between two people than drugs/alcohol because they lead to negative behavior and takes everything special out of the relationship.
    Now that I know this, I've had a lot of success in dating because I've learned to let them know what my standards are.  I told my current boyfriend, "Hey, I'm not doing that drug dance with you.  I'm drawing the line in the sand right here,"  and I was absolutely clear about it.  And it actually made him care.  Of course he's heard it from his friends and business associates, but when I clearly explained to him that I would not budge or tolerate it, he actually cared. 

I know exactly what your talking about. I told my boyfriend this before we got together and it actually made him respect me more. And he likes it. We broke up for a few months and he didn't even date any other girl because he didn't like that all the other girls were out partying, drinking and doing drugs with other guys, he had more respect for me.

Yes this is so important!  Unfortunately it takes some trial and error, but it's actually a great tool for dating because you can be sure that they'll let you know ahead of time whether they choose to still booze/drug. 

I think its very important to let the person know ahead of time what your really about. If like you bella you dont like to party and be around drugs and alcohol and ur boyfriend does he should know that from the beggining of the relationship so that he doesn't bring you around it and pressure you to. Also if a person doesn't believe in sex before marriage, they should let their partner know and explain it to them otherwise their partner could think its dumb and pressure them into it. It's always the wiser decision to be open in the beggining of the relationship rather than down the line when your serious about each other.

That's true because then one person always ends up regretting it.  If you tell them early, assuming they're a good person, they'll probably admire your decision and hopefully support you. 

fire89 said: That's true because then one person always ends up regretting it.  If you tell them early, assuming they're a good person, they'll probably admire your decision and hopefully support you. 

I agree. It also makes the relationship healthier. A relationship thats swimming in drugs and alcohol and sex and all these sins is sure to not be a good one.

I doubt a relationship can ever reach its full potential when centered around drugs and alcohol.  I think it's best to feel comfortable about that person because when you're doing things you don't feel comfortable with, then you'll end up spoiling the whole relationship and ruining something that could've been great.  And sometimes couples stick together just because of drugs and alcohol, they think they're happy together but they're really not. 

AliBaba said: I doubt a relationship can ever reach its full potential when centered around drugs and alcohol.  I think it's best to feel comfortable about that person because when you're doing things you don't feel comfortable with, then you'll end up spoiling the whole relationship and ruining something that could've been great.  And sometimes couples stick together just because of drugs and alcohol, they think they're happy together but they're really not. 

I think when couples stick together just because of drugs and alcohol is only because they understand each other. They understand the other needs the drugs and alcohol and most other people they meet wont. But their relationship most definately will not be a happy one and I doubt it would last.

That's a good point, they only uderstand the need of the other person regarding drugs.  And it's so hard to change a relationship when you've already been hard core into drugs.  I tried to do this with my last girlfriend and it just didn't work out.  We ended up finding out that we didn't have as much in common as we used to and I changed, but it was already too late for her.  She hated me for how I let myself go and 'dragged her into things' but now I'm the one at home and she's out partying.  I have a lot of regrets, but all I can do now is move on an work on my recovery. 

(Float-On)  It seems like you have a really good attitude about your recovery.  It's sad, but there are millions of couples that are the same way as you and your ex were.  Couples can go through recovery together and be successful, but the will and desire has to be strong for both of them.  Otherwise one person will drag the other down.

Its good to draw the line about everything that you wont stand for. Not just about drugs, if you'll never deal with abuse then amke that straight or ur significant other ever cussing at you then that should be clear also. I think its really important to let these things out in the open in the beginning.

Actually everything you warn your partner about from the beginning turns out to be a lot more successful whether its drugs, abuse, language, even religion. Its so much better to let them know from the start.