The best hope for your journey through recovery...
A guy I once knew in high school told me this strange anecdote: When he was 10 or so, he was crazy about getting into the military even though he had a disability that would not allow him to join any service branch. Still, he frequently dreamed that he had a Marine sergeant's "blouse" (that's the term for shirt) with chevrons on the sleeves.
Years later, a neighbor of his gave him a Marine issue uniform shirt, with sergeant's chevron's on the short sleeves.