I don't know how I arrived at this point.  I have always rejected any form of deception, lying, stealing etc.  and now here I am, right in the middle of it all.  It all started a couple of years ago, I was prescribed darvocet for a gout attack.  Over the last two years I have been prescribed Darvocet, Lortab, Ultram and other painkillers because of the gout.  I DO have a chronic gouty arthritis.  But I used this as an excuse to start abusing my pain meds.  Then I started stealing pain meds from friends and family, a couple here and a couple there, nobody will ever notice right?  WRONG!  I began to feel guilty about doing this and stopped about 8 months ago.  I regret the mess I have made of my life.  I have come clean about what I have done, and my family is supportive of me, but I can't seem to forgive myself for what I have done and the reason I did it.  I only hope that over time I can come to grips with this and forgive myself.