You would need to talk to the medical doctors about the sterilization issue. The multiple traumas and abuses that you have experienced in the past you can do something about. In the book Get a Grip, I talk about cleaning your house. It’s a simple process: write an anger letter (the addressee is never to see this) to the perpetrator of your pain. Secondly, get a racquet or bat and warm up by hitting the bed with it. Thirdly, read this letter out loud. Lastly, hit, yell, scream, and get all the pent up feelings out of your soul and body. Do this for each perpetrator individually. This can help you to heal from past pain. Then get support for setting boundaries in your current relationships.