I am so afraid that I am addicted to sex. I was forced to perform sexual acts on a close family friend when I was 12 for about 6 months. Up until I was 18 I wouldn't even hold hands with anyone. Then an older abusive boyfriend pressured me to have sex at 18 and broke up with me after and I go through sex spouts. I love sex and can't get enough. Then the same person months later I am repulsed by them touching me. I am 22, divorced and now in a serious relationship. He is 30, at first he loved that I wanted to be intimate every possible chance, now 8 months later I'm lucky if he kisses me or even has sex and it's not on the same level, it's sex, nothing more now. Even after he rejects me or we get in a fight, no matter how much I hate myself for it I still practically beg for intimacy (sex). On a different note, I am desperately afraid of having an orgasm, to the point where I want to cry and get so freaked out, so I hate foreplay. I just honestly don't feel loved if he is not touching me or being intimate. Please help me. It’s ruined all of my relationships and I want it to stop. - Michelle
Michelle
It appears your sexual trauma has impacted you in addictive and anorexic patterns within your intimate relationships. You need to see a professional who treats sexual trauma. You do not need to be in a relationship that doesn’t value you either. I recommend you do some healing before dating for a while.
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