Most of us feel powerless at one time or another in life; it is the degree of powerlessness and what it concerns that makes the difference. Some things makes that make us feel powerless are not much of a problem like staying up late once in a while to surf the web or to watch a favorite movie.  A person who smokes two packs a day wants to stop, but reaches for the cigarette pack, tells themselves “no, stop!” and proceeds to light up and smoke the cigarette anyways. In that sense, they feel and are powerless. At its worse, a person may say to themselves, “I want to stop using drugs, drugs are ruining my life, drugs are killing my body and my appearance, I am never going to use again.” Yet the next day they seek out drugs and use again, even while denying it to themselves through rationalizing or numbing emotions. Later the person may get very angry at giving it to the addiction again, feel dejected and numb, deny their actions, or feel hopeless about this sense of powerlessness over their own actions and behaviors. Anger at oneself can lead to doing something useful about it or it can lead to wanting to numb the pain all over again because it is so upsetting. People also feel powerless in the sense that they get into a cycle of compulsive activity like gambling or drugs that lead them to behave in ways that are self and other destructive. Often times a physical dependency, a highly attractive habit, high anxiety or depression makes the person feel pulled back to the addictive substance or behavior which offers a temporary relief against their pain and anxiety which is often against the persons own best interests, value system or better judgment.  This is what is known as feeling or being powerless.

I prefer to call this a feeling or powerlessness because sometimes the person does control their addiction, but not all the time. This is crucial, because realizing that the person does have some control can help them make changes, seek support, and gain some sense of hopefulness about the future. AA and 12-step programs use the idea that the addicted person is powerless over the addiction which makes sense in terms of repeatedly using substances or behaving in ways despite the persons intention not to. Yet, it does not mean the person is completely powerless since indeed, otherwise no one would ever get better.

How to overcome feelings of powerless and gain a sense of power over one’s life is another matter, but many people overcome addictions through support, therapy, groups, programs, love, spiritual growth, self reflection, changing habits, letting go of control to gain control, and taking responsibility for their lives in a new way. Getting a real sense of power back over one’s life can and does happen everyday even in many very awful circumstances. Reaching out for support, not turning against good people who offer help, and realizing today can always be a new beginning is a good start.