You already show some insight and understanding of yourself and your behaviors which is a good beginning; you are on the path to getting better. And, you are wise to think that you would benefit from visiting with a psychologist or psychotherapist. The abuse that you have suffered can often traumatically impact even the strongest people but getting help can turn that around for the better. Often times there are many therapists that will see you for little or no fee, so here are a few ideas. Many schools offer some brief counseling support so you might look into that. Most cities and towns have low fee community counseling centers so check online or in your phone book for your area. Also, many universities have counseling centers where interns in training can offer help for very little cost; interns are great to work with given their enthusiasm and interest in helping others. Ask around to counselors at school or people you trust about getting in to see a therapist you can afford. There are many therapists who are able to see people who don’t have much money, and they want to help people who are motivated to grow and learn. Don’t give up until you find a therapist you can meet with, develop trust with, and get the support, understanding and skills that you will be able to use to begin living a more meaningful, healthier life for yourself and those you care about.