My boyfriend of two years is addicted to Porn. I have caught him several times in the past year. I have threatened to leave him if he didn't stop. But I always fall for the empty promises and the tears. This time it all came to a head when I found that not only was he looking at porn but he had also sent a picture via cell phone to an online dating service. He had also taken pictures on his cell phone of his fully erected penis. When I confronted him he told me that he was bored and just wasn't sure why he did these stupid things. Well, I was so disgusted that I threw him out. He now says he is willing to get help which is great but what if he is reaching out for help for the wrong reasons. I say this because he says he'll do anything to save our relationship but shouldn't he be seeking help to save himself? I'm tired of the lies and the sneaking around but I love him. How can I tell if he is really serious this time? How do I know whether he is really ready to become a recovering addict?
I am glad you have seen the error of having no boundaries in this relationship. If he is serious about recovery he would be in a group and seeing a counselor. I also recommend he takes a polygraph at 60 to 90 days to verify no porn or masturbation before you reengage in this relationship. If he consistently chooses his addiction over you, then he will be unable to be the man that won’t cause you great pain.
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